


come to my window (i'll keep it open for you)

by SorrowsFlower



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lena is Smol Library GIrl, Minor Kara Danvers/James "Jimmy" Olsen, Minor Kara Danvers/William Dey, Minor Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas, Mutual Pining, Rojascorp FWB, Slow Burn, Some Gay lipstick application A little slow dancing and Dessert Testing, Supercorp endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorrowsFlower/pseuds/SorrowsFlower
Summary: “So there’s this girl. Hot. Sweet. Ultimate girl-next-door. Every guy who meets her falls in love with her. And THAT's the problem! Since I’ve known her she’s only been single for a few, brief windows of opportunity."Mon-El gets a cold beer from under the bar. Brainy waits for him to uncap it, but Mon-El is too intent on telling his story.“Freshman year, she was dating this guy Adam. When they broke up, I waited a month, ‘cause I didn’t want to be the rebound guy. But I was too late, and she dated James Olsen all junior year... Well, the next time, I wasn’t fucking around. I only waited A DAY. All she did was go to work, and I was still too late. She’s been dating that William guy for the past 6 months. So I asked her neighbor to call me the second she and William broke up, and her neighbor just called to tell me-"Mon-El smiles smugly. “ The window is OPEN, dude. I asked her BFF to take Kara here, so she wouldn’t meet any guys before I got to her.”“Is this girl a blonde with glasses? And is her friend Lena Luthor?”“Yeah. Why?”“They're in the west corner booth. Kissing.”“WHAT??”Brainy sips his beer serenely. “I believe your window just closed…. Dude.”
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 108
Kudos: 1009
Collections: 5 stars, Gays in Earth 38, SC, Supercorp Big Bang 2020





	1. SOPHOMORE YEAR - OCTOBER

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheQueenOfTheLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenOfTheLight/gifts), [fancyfanstuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyfanstuff/gifts).



> I just wanna say, before SCBB, I'd never written a full multi-chaptered fic before and I never thought I could finish one, but everyone involved has been so lovely and endlessly supportive. It's truly been amazing. Thank you so much y'all!!!
> 
> Here's the amazing accompanying artwork by [nightmarexy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26639062) and the awesome artwork by [NatUlian](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCBB2020/works/26733997) Please show these talented artists some love!
> 
> Update: a few people have pointed out to me that the Explicit rating might be too high for this fic. I usually rate a fic high just to be on the safe side, but since there's really only one scene (maybe 2) to watch out for - and before I get accused of baiting it's not supercorp (it's on the tags: this is a rojascorp fwb) - I've decided to lower the rating to Mature and I'll just add a warning on the chapter itself. Happy reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Sea of Love from the Juno Soundtrack

_Al’s bar is the official unofficial bar of National City University. As bars go, it’s okay, for a dive -- a couple of TVs, pool tables, a neon sign that always seems to be flickering and a lone bartender who’s always slacking off._

_Mon-El reaches into the fridge under the bar to get a cold beer. Brainy waits for him to uncap it, but Mon-El leans forward, intent on telling his story._

_“Okay, so there’s this girl, right? Really hot, sweet. She’s… She’s the ultimate girl-next-door. Every guy who meets her falls in love with her. And I mean **everyone** , dude…. And that’s the problem! Since I’ve known her she’s only been single for a few, brief windows of opportunity.” _

_Brainy gestures for him to uncap the beer, but Mon-El is too distracted._

_“Freshman year when I met her, I waited three months before I made a move. Y’know, it was freshman year, there were a lot of hot girls, and I wanted to scope things out first. But then she started dating this guy Adam from the soccer team, and they were together for a year…. After they broke up, I waited a month, ‘cause I didn’t want to be the rebound guy. But I was too late, and she dated James Olsen all through junior year.”_

_Mon-El finally uncaps the bottle distractedly, and Brainy reaches for the drink, but Mon-El is too far away. “....Well, the next time, I wasn’t fucking around. I only waited **a day** . Literally, all she did was go to work at the school paper, and I was still too late. She’s been dating that William guy for the past six months. Next time, I thought, I wasn’t gonna let that happen again, so I asked this girl who lives in her building, Mackenzie, to call me the second Kara and William broke up, and she just called to tell me,” _

_Mon-El holds up his phone with a smug smile. “ The window is open, dude. Her best friend, Lena Luthor -- I know her -- she’s meeting up with her. I asked Luthor to take Kara here, so she wouldn’t meet any guys before I got to her.”_

_Mon-El laughs. “I’m not taking any chances this time.”_

....

....

....

**OCTOBER**

One of the things Kara likes about Adam is how carefree he is. 

Okay, sometimes, it's annoying when he's thirty minutes late to a date because he was busy playing a videogame with friends and forgot the time. Sometimes she likes it, like when he'll spontaneously bring over pizza so they can watch a movie together, because he just wants to spend time with her.

Sometimes, on days like today, it's a mixture of both when he leans over her as she pores over her history book. She has a test on Wednesday that she's not nearly prepared for, but Adam leans over her and hugs her from behind, telling her that he's noticed how stressed out she is about this exam, and how she just needs a break.

Kara relents eventually, because she _is_ stressed out, and she _could_ use a break. And so she lets Adam take her hand and pull her away from her book into a more secluded corner of the library. 

She's a little surprised when he starts kissing her, because she's not really the kind of girl who has make-out sessions with her boyfriend in the library. When Adam had suggested a break, she was thinking that maybe they could go out for sticky buns at Noonan's.

But Adam starts nuzzling her ear, right at that spot that always makes her weak. Her boyfriend, unfortunately, isn't too big on foreplay, and it had taken her pointing that spot out to him before he got the hint that she liked it. To his credit, he's been dutifully fixating on it since. And okay, it often seems like a chore to him whenever they're having sex. But at times like this, when she knows he wants to fool around a little, he uses this particular little spot on her right ear to his advantage.

She moans a little when he uses his tongue. He's not a bad kisser, certainly better than her high school boyfriend had been. But sometimes, he just leaves Kara feeling a little... flat. He does better when she tells him what she likes though, and Kara will take what she can get.

He's a little more enthusiastic now than he usually is, and Kara thinks he likes this, making out in a semi-public place.

Still, his technique wants a little something _more_. A little more pressure, more teeth, more _something_. She digs her fingers into his shoulders to spur him on, and she's just about to urge him to use his teeth when she hears the small sound of someone clearing their throat to her right.

"Excuse me," a cool voice murmurs somewhere off to Kara's right, and her head whips around to find a girl standing a few feet away from them at the opposite end of the aisle. She points to the shelf behind Kara. "I need a book."

Kara starts and immediately pushes Adam off of her. She can feel her face reddening, possibly to a shade previously unknown in the color wheel. Her voice comes out as a squeak. "Sorry!"

The girl raises a sharp eyebrow, and one corner of glossy, rose-tinted lips lifts into an amused smile. She's quite possibly the prettiest person Kara has ever seen, and something in those clear green eyes tells Kara that she's laughing at her. "Um, the book I need is behind your --"

She points somewhere in the vicinity of Kara's ass, and Kara wants to squeeze herself into the shelf with the other books in embarrassment. She hops away from the bookshelf, her cheeks hot. Adam is somewhere to her left, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Sorry," Kara mutters. Great. It's like her entire vocabulary has abandoned her somewhere during this humiliation. 

The girl brushes past her and retrieves one of the books Kara had been all but sitting on. Kara surreptitiously looks at the title. _Islands of Mercy_ by Rose Tremain.

Her book retrieved, the girl walks away, but not before giving Kara an amused smile. It's funny, on any other person, Kara would have said she was making fun of her. But staring at the girl, Kara kind of thinks the smile is more conspiratorial than mocking. As if she's sharing some kind of inside joke with Kara.

Kara smiles back sheepishly, though she thinks it probably comes off more as a cringe, which Kara is certainly doing on the inside right now.

Once the girl is gone, Adam approaches her again, but she huffs at him with a pout, batting his hand away like one would a misbehaving puppy. "Seriously?? No! That was the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me."

"Oh c'mon babe, that's what makes it hot!"

Kara glares at him sternly. "No! I'm going back to studying for my test. No more making out in the library!"

....

....

....

The next time Kara sees the other girl is at the library again.

She's struggling to reach up one of the taller shelves, her fingers grasping at a hardbound book that's sure to fall on her head if she's not careful. At first, Kara doesn't recognize her as the girl who had caught her and Adam making out. She’s just a person who needs help, and Kara’s always happy to help people who need it.

Kara's got a few inches on the girl, which puts the book just within her arm's reach, so she plucks the book from the shelf and carefully pulls it out to make sure it doesn't fall on the other girl. 

She looks at the title curiously. It looks like a scientific book. _A Crack In Creation: Gene Editing and the Unthinkable Power to Control Evolution_. Kara’s eyebrows rise.

She turns to offer the book to the other girl with a wide smile that drops just a little bit when she recognizes her. Those clear green eyes are pretty hard to miss.

Immediately, Kara reddens. Adam is nowhere around today, but her embarrassment is still as sharp as the last time she saw this girl. And she can tell from the way green eyes widen that the girl has recognized her too. Oh no.

Kara offers the book to her, not quite meeting her eye. The girl studies her curiously, with just a little bit of that amusement in her eyes, and the slightest hint of a teasing laugh in her voice. "Thank you."

Kara just nods and backs away with an awkward wave. An honest-to-God wave. She all but scurries away to die of embarrassment away from this girl's sight.

....

....

....

When her next encounter with the unknown pretty girl is at the library again, Kara begins to wonder if the other girl actually lives there.

She's in the reserved section this time, and Kara chuckles a little bit to herself because she's reaching for another book from the tallest shelf again. And this time, she's enlisted the help of a small step-stool. But even with the stool and standing on her tiptoes, whatever book she's reaching for is eluding her.

Kara grins, because A.) this girl is clearly height-challenged, and B.) this girl likes a challenge, given the way she always seems to go for the most obscure books. And C.) based on the way she huffs adorably in frustration, Kara has a feeling that she's about thirty seconds away from climbing the stacks or falling and breaking her neck.

Kara takes pity on her and taps her on the shoulder, her grin still in place. "Let me."

The girl stares at her for a moment, before giving up with a sigh. The book is too high up for even Kara to reach, so she shoos the girl off the stool and takes her place. She reaches up as high as she can and skims the book spines slowly with a finger until the girl pipes up "That one, please."

Kara pulls said book out and examines the cover. It’s a first edition book of fairy tales. She cocks her head in surprise, studying the girl. Interesting.

She hands it over to the girl with a smile. 

"Thank you." The other girl's voice is low with a soft, melodic lilt to it that Kara can't quite place. She studies Kara for a moment, her head tilted curiously, biting her lip, like she wants to say something else, but thinks better of it.

She doesn't say anything else. Then, with one last small smile directed Kara's way, she turns and disappears around the corner, hugging the book to her chest.

Kara wonders what her name is.

....

....

....

When Kara finally sees the girl outside of the library for the first time, it's like seeing a mythical creature dropped into the mundane - like seeing a goddess in a leather jacket and red lipstick crammed in a booth in Al's bar. She's sitting at the table by herself, and Kara whips around to the bar where Mon-El is filling the shot glasses Kara needs to take back to Adam and her friends.

"Mon-El!" Kara whisper-hisses at the bartender, leaning over the bar top conspiratorially. "Do you know who that girl is? The one with the dark hair and green eyes?"

She tilts her head in what she thinks is a subtle way toward the table where the girl is sitting alone. Mon-El looks in the same direction, and Kara bats at his arm. "No, don't be weird! Don't let her see you looking!"

"Who?" Mon-El peers at the girl, and Kara smacks her palm into her face at how obvious Mon-El is being. "Oh, you mean Lena Luthor?"

Kara looks up at him curiously, while keeping the girl in her peripheral vision. "You know her?"

Mon-El snorts. "Well, yeah. Our families know each other. Her family owns Luthor Corp. Her brother's pretty big in the business. We had them over for dinner a few times. I think she was in an all-girls’ boarding school in Switzerland or something. Hot."

He gives her a wink and what he seems to think is a rakish grin, which Kara returns with a wry glare and a roll of her eyes. 

"I didn't realize you were as big a gossip as your mother is, Mon-El."

The low, melodic voice behind her is familiar, and Kara can feel her entire face flame, from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She turns to see the pretty library girl approaching the bar, giving Mon-El a light glare with one eyebrow raised.

"Speak of the devil.” Mon-El’s grin grows wider. “How's it going, Luthor? I see you left your pearls at home."

His tone is teasing. Once again, Kara has the distinct impression he thinks he’s coming off as charming -- but the girl seems as enthusiastic about Mon-El’s ‘charm’ as Kara was. She rolls her eyes with a pointed look at all the glasses he’s supposed to be filling. "I see your mother finally cut off the charge card.”

Mon-El seems a little annoyed for a second, but then he shrugs good-naturedly. “Yeah, I crashed another car, and she said she wasn’t gonna pay for another one.”

“How sad for you. In the meantime, can I get a Honey Jack, neat? Make it a double.”

When Mon-El turns away, the girl turns to her, a smile playing on her red lips. Kara can’t help but feel a little shy under that piercing green gaze.

“He’s probably told you _all_ about me,” the other girl drawls with a small roll of her eyes. “But I prefer to make my own introductions. Lena Luthor.”

A pale hand extends toward Kara, and she takes it, almost expecting it to be soft and delicate, but instead her grip is cool and firm. She returns the smile Lena Luthor gives her with a warm one of her own. “Kara Danvers.”

Lena laughs a little bit, a low, throaty sound, and one perfect eyebrow arches. “So she has a name. I’ve been calling you ‘Makeout Queen’ in my head.”

A groan bursts out of Kara’s mouth and she drops her head so Lena won’t see how embarrassed she is. If her face turns any more red, she’s pretty sure it’s gonna burst into flames. “I was hoping you wouldn’t bring that up!”

Lena laughs again, this time a louder burst of sound that makes Kara smile, even though she knows she’s laughing at her. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Well, I’ve been calling you ‘Small Library Girl’ in my head.” Kara gives her a mock pout, but it’s ruined when Lena laughs even harder, and Kara chuckles along with her. She doesn’t mention that she’s actually been calling Lena the ‘pretty library girl’ in her head. She has a feeling she’ll never live that down.

“Fair enough.” Lena murmurs with a twinkle in her eye. “Well, now that we know each other’s true identities, wanna join me for a drink?”

“Oh!” It’s at that point that Mon-El, with his unfortunate timing, finally shows up with Kara’s shots. “I’d love to, I really would. But I’m actually here with my boyfriend and my sister and my friends.”

The twinkle in Lena’s eyes dims a little, and Kara can’t help the tiny little flare of disappointment in her chest either as she gathers up the shots in her hands. But then Lena’s playful smile returns “Maybe some other time then…. I hope this isn’t the last time we talk?”

Her voice is still a playful drawl, but it’s tinged with something softer, something Kara thinks is hopeful. Kara smiles back at her, feeling just a little dazed. She must be a little drunk already. Lena’s already walking away and Kara mutters something like “I hope not either” before she manages to shake herself.

“Oh, um. Hey, uh, Lena!” She calls after the other girl. She feels a little silly, and she kinda wants to fiddle with her glasses like Alex tells her she does when she’s nervous or awkward, but she’s holding the shots, so she settles for awkwardly shifting her weight from foot to foot. “Do you like coffee?”

 _‘Do you like coffee?’_ Kara could kick herself, what the heck was that? Thankfully, Lena doesn’t comment on it, she just chuckles lightly. “Coffee sustains me. Can’t survive without it.”

“Do you, uh -- Would you wanna get coffee with me tomorrow? I know where they have the best coffee. It’s off-campus, but they make the best lattes and my sister Alex swears by their cappuccinos. And they have the most awesome sticky buns, and really good pastries. It’s called Noonan’s.” Kara stops her tirade when Lena smiles and nods.

“I know where that is. I’m free tomorrow at 3. See you there?”

“Yeah! Great!” Kara chirps as Lena gives her a casual and yet somehow elegant wave before heading back to her table. “I’ll see you there…”

Kara watches her walk away, until she hears Nia and Alex calling her over impatiently, and she starts, remembering that she’s supposed to be bringing over their shots.

....

....

....

....

....

* * *

The thing about growing up a Luthor, Lena thinks, is that it's both excellent and terrible practice for the real world.

Lillian had told her once that childhood is a whetstone upon which any blunt instrument -- and she had given Lena a derisive look at this -- may be sharpened to its full potential. God knows her mother had done her best to make sure of that.

And while she may dislike giving her mother credit, Lena knows that to some extent, being a Luthor had prepared her to navigate the sharps and pangs of the world with ease. When your childhood is one long chess game where every move has severe consequences, the rest of the world seems like child's play by comparison.

But being a Luthor doesn't prepare you for the small, seemingly mundane things that cause a monumental shift, a disturbance that creates ripples throughout the rest of your life.

Things like big blue eyes and a pretty smile.

Being a Luthor doesn't prepare you for the way one sweet smile can make you feel weak in the knees, or the way your mind goes blank when blue eyes meet yours and the rest of the world stops.

No, Lena had to learn that on her own in a boarding school at sixteen.

And she thinks she's learned her lesson well. 

So when she stumbles onto the couple making out in the gay erotic lit section of the library and a pair of pretty blue eyes meets hers, Lena doesn't think much of it beyond an amused smile, like an inside joke.

She doesn't make any moves either when she sees the girl again. The pink in her cheeks is lovely, and there isn't a game yet, but oh, Lena wants to play. She's learned her lesson, though, about lovely girls with blue eyes, so she doesn't say anything.

When it happens a third time in a secluded corner of the library, it feels less like an inside joke, and more of a secret. Something quieter and more intimate. Something different enough from the last time a blue-eyed girl had smiled at her that Lena almost leans into it and says something. 

And now, here she is, sitting at a table at Noonan's, listening to Kara Danvers rank her favorite desserts on the menu. When Kara turns to Lena and asks her to rank hers with a warm, endearing smile, a little light turns on, bright and intriguing, in Lena's head, signaling the beginning of a game.

"I don't really eat desserts."

The affronted look Kara gives her pulls a smile from Lena's mouth. Kara comically brings her clasped hands to her heart like she's personally injured her, and despite herself, Lena's smile widens. "I don't think I can be your friend, Lena!"

Lena huffs a laugh at that, one with bitter undertones, because Kara doesn't know how often a Luthor like her hears those words. "I see your friendship is conditional on desserts."

"Or food in general." Kara gives her a lopsided smile. "Desserts are good things, Lena! You know, my mother -- my, uh, my birth mother -- she once told me that we have to appreciate the sweet things in life."

Her voice quiets a little, and despite herself, Lena feels a tug in her chest. There's a story there, she can tell, but she doesn't pry. She just puts her hand on top of Kara's and gives her a soft smile with a hint of teasing underneath it. "Are you sure she meant sticky buns?"

Kara laughs softly and nods vigorously. "I'm absolutely positive. But I'll tell you what, since I like you, I will make it my personal mission to find a dessert you like on this menu. You deserve to appreciate the sweet things in life."

She then proceeds to order everything on said menu that remotely resembles a dessert, and Lena is frankly surprised she manages to fit it all on the table. "I can't possibly eat all of this, Kara!"

"Well, my cover is that we're doing this to find your favorite dessert, but really, I was just looking for an excuse to eat everything sweet on their menu."

Lena laughs and accepts the fork Kara hands her. They spend the next two hours talking and laughing while going through each dessert. Lena tries a small bite of each one, with Kara right behind her finishing the dessert off and extolling the virtues of each one.

While she tries the lemon meringue pie -- too tart -- Kara tells her about her journalism major, and that she's trying to apply for the NCU Gazette, but has been unsuccessful so far. When Lena moves on to the eclairs -- too rich -- Kara tells her about her sister, who's in pre-med.

While Lena takes a bite of the raspberry tartlet -- too dry -- she tells Kara a condensed version of her life at boarding school. By the time she's trying the white chocolate honeycomb -- too sweet -- she's already told Kara the most benign version of her childhood with the Luthors.

Lena doesn't think she's eaten this much sugar, or talked so much about herself, in her life. In the end, they find out Lena's favorite dessert is coffee liqueur cake.

It's something... new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on a How I Met Your Mother episode called 'The Window is Open' where the main guy is running around trying to make sure the girl he's after doesn't meet any guys before he gets to her. They tried to frame it as funny and cute, but I decided I was gonna fix that.


	2. SOPHOMORE YEAR - NOVEMBER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Gotta Have You by The Weepies

This Friday's game night is pretty special.

First of all, James is joining the group. James is usually pretty busy as the editor of the school paper, especially on Friday nights. He always tries to make it and the group always saves him a spot, but his game nights are usually far and few in between, so they’re always a special treat.

Second, and most importantly, it's Lena's first game night with the group.

Kara's a little nervous. She's told her friends about Lena, but none of them have actually met her. She really likes Lena, and desperately wants her friends to like her too, so she really, really needs tonight to go well.

Maybe a little too nervous. Alex has been shooting her exasperated looks every time she straightens the couch pillows or checks on the cookies or sorts through the board games they've got, wondering which one Lena's likely to enjoy.

"Would you relax, Kara?" Alex rolls her eyes for the hundredth time. "It's just game night."

"I really want Lena to have a nice time tonight."

"Geez, who is this girl? The Queen of England?" Alex grabs her by the shoulders and steers her away from the kitchen where she's been checking on the cookies. Again. "Relax. I'm sure she'll have a good time. Everyone always does at game night."

"Okay," Kara lets herself be led away from the oven and sidles on to fluff the pillows up one more time. "And you promise to be on your best behavior?"

"When am I not?"

"Alex!"

Alex's retort is cut off by the sound of the doorbell, and Kara practically sprints to the door. It's probably Lena! 

"Hey!" When it swings open to reveal Adam holding up a six-pack of beer and a bag of chips, Kara's a little disappointed. It must show on her face, because Adam's grin fades slightly. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Kara shakes her head and gives him a bright grin, overcompensating a little for her lack of enthusiasm. "Thanks for coming!"

She takes the chips from him and kisses him on the cheek. Adam gives Alex a small salute as he drops the six-pack onto the counter, and Alex nods back. With the pleasantries out of the way, he flops onto the couch and turns the TV on. Kara stops herself from straightening the pillows again.

Everyone else starts arriving within the next half-hour. Nia comes in bringing take out from Wong's Palace and a tote bag stuffed with candy, which Kara makes grabby hands at before Alex snatches it away from her. James has just texted that he's running late and he's bringing Mon-El along. Kara's a little annoyed, but Mon-El does come along to game night sometimes. Plus he always brings alcohol, which usually makes Alex happy.

Lena arrives soon after Nia does, and Kara can feel her face stretch into a wide smile when she opens the door to find Lena holding a large tote bag. "Lena! You came!"

"I did." Lena smiles at her enthusiasm and holds up the bulging tote bag. "I brought some ice cream. I didn't know what kind everyone liked, so I brought several kinds. And there's some wine and scotch there too."

"Wow, Lena." Kara takes the bag from her and huffs at the weight of everything Lena's brought. "You didn't have to, but thank you."

"Did I hear someone say scotch?" Typical Alex. Her sister's head pops from the kitchen where she's helping Nia sort out the food.

"Yeah, Lena brought some." 

Alex looks up just as Kara’s about to introduce them, and she sees Lena, her face lights up in recognition. “Oh, hey! I know you! Lena Luthor, right?”

“You guys know each other?”

“We’re in the same Applied Cellular and Integrative Physiological Biochemistry class together. Alex Danvers.” Alex gives her a smile and a quick nod.

“With Professor Ivo? Yes, I’ve seen you around. I didn’t know you were Kara’s sister.”

Alex grins. “I’ve definitely seen _you._ You corrected Ivo on Rho-associated kinase inhibitors that one time. Didn’t you tell him that his knowledge base on adenovirus vector transduction is as outdated as his tie? That was a fun class.”

“I did.” Lena smirks. “That man wouldn’t know an induced pluripotent stem cell if it streaked naked in front of him on the quad.”

Alex laughs as Kara puts Lena's bag on the counter and pulls out one of the bottles filled with expensive-looking alcohol at random to show Alex.

"Oh my God...." Alex freezes in her tracks and her eyes almost bug out of her head so quickly that Kara is actually concerned for her for a second. "Is that a Balvenie 26 Year? Holy shit..."

Alex takes the bottle from Kara's hands and cradles it like she would a baby. She strokes the bottle lovingly, and Kara rolls her eyes.

Alex grins at Lena. “Luthor, I think you're my new best friend. I'm stealing you from Kara."

"Hey!" Kara pouts, even as Lena laughs. 

“What?” Alex shrugs good-naturedly. “She just brought me a thousand-dollar bottle of scotch. Lena, you’re coming to all game nights from now on."

Kara's eyes widen and she whips around to gape at Lena. Holy crap, that bottle cost more than her monthly rent? Lena just waves a hand like it's nothing.

"I had a couple of bottles in my apartment, and it always seems to taste better when you're drinking it with others."

There's something in the way she says it that makes Kara tip her head at her curiously. How often does Lena drink expensive 26-year-old scotch on her own in her apartment?

Lena offers to help Nia sort out the food. Alex takes down a couple of glasses from the cupboard, and she's telling Lena that the scotch can't wait as she pours some for both of them. Kara snickers as the two of them clink their glasses together, and Alex moans appreciatively at the taste of the scotch.

Lena really is a clever strategist. Scotch is an excellent way to Alex's heart.

James and Mon-El arrive soon after. Alex doesn't say so, but Mon-El's usual offering of alcohol from the bar has unofficially been declared subpar compared to Lena's scotch, and Alex drinks nothing else all night. 

Kara herself doesn't really like scotch, so she settles for some of the red wine from another bottle Lena had brought. She doesn't know how much this costs, but she's pretty sure it's just as expensive. She does like the taste though, and she thanks Lena as she leans back into the couch beside Adam.

Once James and Mon-El arrive, they start playing, and it quickly becomes apparent that Lena, like Alex, has a competitive streak. She admits that she doesn't know most of the games that Kara has on hand, which surprises Kara a bit, because who hasn't played Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit? But Lena catches on very quickly, and within the next half-hour, she's beating everyone soundly at Monopoly.

As the night progresses, and they all agree to put away the games before Alex stages yet another rematch so she can beat Lena at Scrabble, James mentions his work at the school paper. "You should really join the paper, Kara. We could use a writer like you on our team."

Kara huffs in frustration, and Adam rubs her shoulders. "I tried! Snapper sent back the article I wrote. He called it mediocre, and he said I should try again when I learn how to use spell-check."

Kara pouts, but surprisingly, James just chuckles. "Yeah, Snapper can be an ass. But trust me, I've heard worse from him. Coming from him, that's actually pretty high praise."

Nia snorts. "Really? 'Mediocre' is high praise?"

James sets downs his beer and leans forward, elbows on his knees. "Listen, he told you to try again right? He wouldn't say that if he didn't think you could do it. Besides, I read your article, Kara. It's good. You really have a way with words."

Kara can feel her cheeks turn pink. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." James smiles at her, and she can feel his sincerity in the way he looks at her, his dark eyes warm and kind. "Don't worry about Snapper. He can be a jerk sometimes, but he can recognize talent when he sees it, and so can I. We could really use someone with a voice like yours at the Gazette."

Kara ducks her head, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Okay, I'll try again."

"Good --" James' phone rings and cuts off what he was about to say next. "Oh, I gotta take this. It’s Lucy."

He rises from the couch to go to the kitchen. Lucy lives in Metropolis, and it's probably around midnight there now. For Lucy to call means there's either an emergency or it's a personal call. "Tell her we said hi!"

Lucy is another honorary guest at game night, has been since she and Kara met at Clark and Lois’ engagement party two years ago, though her visits are infrequent. Kara really likes Lucy, she’s funny and quick-witted, and things are never boring around her.

Things did get a little complicated with them a few years ago, when Kara had developed a crush on James, not knowing that he was Lucy’s boyfriend. 

He’d seemed to like her too, and there were times when he’d smile at her a little more sweetly than he did at the others, was a little more attentive to her. And there was that time she’d expressed a lot of interest in one of his photographs, and he’d given her a framed copy. Even now, Kara’s not sure it was something more than just simple friendship. James hadn’t said anything -- of course he wouldn’t have. He was too good of a guy to betray Lucy. 

And of course, as soon as she’d found out, Kara had reined it in. If Kara’s being honest, Lucy is the reason she’d never pursued James, even if it had seemed like he liked her too. She’s too good of a friend, and Kara likes her too much to let a guy -- even a great guy like James -- come between them.

James emerges from the kitchen, still on the phone with Lucy. There’s a tension in his expression that wasn’t there before, but he smiles when he looks up at the others. “Sorry, guys, but I gotta go. Thanks for the food and the booze. See you around.”

Not long after, Nia and Mon-El shuffle out the door, saying various goodbyes. Adam leaves pretty soon after that, saying he's got soccer practice in the morning. He kisses Kara goodbye - and maybe it's the evening that's finally catching up to her, or maybe she's just tired, but she doesn't have the energy to summon up anything more than a smile and a light "See you tomorrow!"

Lena, she can see, has stayed behind to help Alex clean up. When they've stowed the last pizza box away in the trash, Kara walks Lena to the door. She rubs her arm as Lena puts on her coat, untucking her long hair from under the collar and letting the dark mass fall down her back. 

Kara wants to ask if Lena had enjoyed herself today, and if they can hang out again, maybe, just the two of them. But she doesn't know how to ask without sounding like a total dork.

"So, I know a new fermentation place that just opened downtown," Lena remarks, fiddling with the strap of her bag. "I was thinking of going there for lunch tomorrow. Do you wanna come with me?"

Kara has no idea what on earth a 'fermentation place' is -- Do they grow bacteria there? Are they gonna serve yeast? -- but if it means she gets to hang out with Lena tomorrow, she'll gladly try it. "Sure! What time?"

Lena's face brightens into a sweet smile that makes Kara smile just as brightly. "I have to go to the lab to check on a project in the morning, but I should be free by 11. I can text you the address and meet you there. Sound good?"

Kara nods so enthusiastically, she feels like a bobble-head. "Yeah!"

Lena leaves with that same bright smile and a small wave, and Kara feels much lighter as she closes the door behind her. She's still tired, but not quite so drained as before, and Alex notices her bright smile.

"You seem happy."

"Yeah!" Kara beams, flopping down onto the couch. "That was a fun night! I think everyone had fun, don't you?"

"Yeah. It's always good to have James around. Mon-El is... meh. But he always brings booze, and that makes it easier to tolerate his presence. Not as good as Lena's booze, though." Alex flops down next to her. A moment passes and she eyes Kara quietly. "... Lena seems nice."

Kara turns to her. "You think so?"

"Yeah. I mean, I thought she'd be kind of a snob, because her family's rich, and I heard they were kind of assholes. And she did kind of show up Professor Ivo, but he kind of deserves it. He's an ass." Alex props her legs up onto the coffee table and leans back. "She's pretty cool, though."

Kara beams. "Yeah, she is."

Alex doesn't say anything, just studies her thoughtfully for a second. But just as Kara's about to ask what she's thinking, she pats Kara's knee and hops to her feet. "I dunno about you, but I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed. ‘Night."

Kara watches her trudge off. "‘Night."

....

....

....

....

Kara's good mood lasts throughout the next morning, and she gets herself ready for her lunch with Lena with a big smile on her face. She selects a blue shirt that Alex always tells her compliments her eyes and carefully adjusts her glasses as she examines herself in the mirror. She looks pretty nice.

The bright mood lasts until she gets to the ‘fermentation place’ Lena had suggested, but it quickly evaporates as she examines the place.

It’s an upscale, clearly expensive restaurant, and when she does a quick search on it, she finds out that it’s got 2 Michelin stars. Its menu consists of things like kale salad, fermented beets, fermented lentils, and zucchini on sprouted sourdough bread.

Kale. Kara shudders. Yes, she is aware that her diet of pizza, potstickers and sticky buns probably isn’t the healthiest or the trendiest, but there’s still more green things on this menu than her stomach is willing to consume.

She manages to resist the urge to run when she sees Lena arrive, and Kara immediately rushes over to her. Lena is dressed in jeans and a soft-looking sweater, and she has such a bright smile on her face that Kara feels a happy little burst of affection in her chest. She leans over without thinking and gives her friend a hug.

Lena stiffens, and for a second, Kara thinks she’s overstepped -- maybe they’re not there yet, oh God, is she being too familiar? -- but then Lena’s hands come up to press on her shoulder blades as she returns the hug. Lena’s smile is just as bright when Kara pulls away, and Kara sighs a little in relief.

They’re seated quickly, and Kara’s apprehension returns when they sit down at a table. She scans the menu that makes her stomach cringe. What she wouldn’t give for a cheeseburger right now. 

Something must show on her face, because Lena tips her head curiously at her. “Are you okay, Kara?”

“Yeah! Yep!” Kara squeaks, hiding her face behind the menu, trying to find the least threatening thing on there. “Fine!”

“Kara.” Her menu lowers as Lena tips it down with a finger. Lena’s looking at her with a smile. Kara avoids her knowing eyes. “Do you not want to eat here?”

“No -- I mean yes, I want to.” Kara steels herself and her stomach. “I want to.”

“Kara.” One perfect eyebrow raises in a knowing look, and Kara caves.

“Okay, fine!” Kara whisper-hisses as lowers the menu in defeat. “I don’t really like zucchini, I think lentils are blecch, and I firmly believe that kale should be criminalized. Let’s just say that I’m not a big fan of this kind of food.” 

Across from her, Lena laughs, and even though she’s laughing at her, it makes Kara smile, because Lena’s laugh is a quick but happy burst of a sound. Lena shakes her head at her and places a hand over hers. “Kara, can I make a confession?”

Kara leans forward. “Yeah?”

Lena leans forward too with a small smile. “I’m not a big fan either. The truth is….” Lena looks down and away for a moment. “.... Well, the truth is, I don’t really have a lot of friends. People either avoid me because of my family, or they try to use me for my money, or as a connection because of my family. Either way, everyone wants something from me. And those people I considered friends, well….”

Kara listens as Lena’s voice gets lower and lower, and her shoulders seem to curl in on themselves for a second. It makes Kara frown, and she turns her hand where it’s under Lena’s so she can squeeze her fingers. Lena looks back up at her with a small, grateful smile.

“But you, Kara… you’re different. I can’t explain why. You’re just… I’ve never had a friend like you. I’ve never had family like you, either.”

Lena turns pink as she says this, and she looks away again. “That’s why I brought you to a place like this. I thought it might impress you, but… well, I think that backfired spectacularly.”

Lena chuckles a little self-deprecatingly, but Kara can see how her normally bright eyes are downcast, and she frowns. “... Is that why you brought that thousand-dollar scotch to game night?... Lena!”

Kara squeezes Lena’s fingers in a firm but gentle grip. “Lena, you don’t have to buy your way into being my friend. You don’t have to give me things, I don’t need that. I didn’t even know you were a Luthor when I met you. I’m not trying to use you for your money or connections. I just wanna be your friend.”

Lena looks up at her, and her eyes pierce into Kara’s, studying her with an unreadable look on her face. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Why would someone like you want to be my friend?” There’s that unreadable look in her eyes again, and Kara doesn’t know what the right answer is, so she just says the truth.

“Well, ‘cause I think you’re kind of amazing.” Kara shrugs, and it’s her turn to look away as she tucks her hair behind her ear with her free hand. “You’re really smart, and apparently you like to put asshole professors in their place. You’re sarcastic, and on some people that would be annoying, but I think that’s part of your charm. I also think you use sarcasm to hide the fact that you’re secretly a softie with a gooey marshmallow center.”

Lena gives her a mock-glare at that, but there’s a small smile on her lips. “How dare you, Miss Danvers!”

Kara snorts. “Oh please, one of the books you asked me to get you in the library was a book of fairy tales -”

“That was for a comparative literature course!” 

“Sure it was.” Kara smiles at her teasingly. “You’re not fooling me. You’re a secret romantic with a soft side, Lena Luthor.”

Lena huffs a quiet laugh, and the mock-glare drops, leaving only the soft smile and the fond look in her clear green eyes. Her fingers tangle with Kara’s, and her voice is more tender than teasing when she speaks.

“You got me.”


	3. SOPHOMORE YEAR - MARCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer

“It’s like you’re always with her.”

“She’s my best friend, Adam!”

“Since you met that Luthor chick, it’s like she’s taken over your life. You never wanna hang out anymore! We haven’t had sex in three months! I’ve had it, I’m done. It’s her or me.”

“You’re being unreasonable--”

“Fine! I guess I know the answer. I hope you and Lena Luthor have a nice life together!”

The second Adam leaves, Kara flops onto the couch with a loud exhale. 

She's not sure how she feels.  There's a big part of her that wants to wrench the door open and try to catch Adam before he can walk out of her life for good. 

They've been together since freshman year -- that's a year of hanging out at Noonan's, of going to parties together, of watching Netflix at his place. Adam has seen her from her first months of feeling out college, of trying new things, and struggling to find her footing in a new place. 

He might not be the perfect boyfriend, but he had listened to her rant about how much of a perfectionist Professor Carr is so many times that he could practically repeat her words back to her. He had taken her for midnight milkshakes when she had spent all day crying when Snapper rejected her article for the school paper and sent it back to her with so many corrections and strikethroughs that the whole thing was more red than black. 

He had been her first. 

She can still recall the first time Adam had tried to take things beyond a kiss. His hand had slipped under her shirt, touching the edge of her bra, and Kara had panicked. They'd been dating for about a month by then, but sex wasn't something they had talked about. 

She hadn't been with anyone yet, and while there was something inside her thrumming to go for it, a kind of longing to feel another person's skin on hers, to move her body to the rhythm of someone else's -- she hadn't been sure of Adam yet. And when Adam tried to ruck up her shirt, Kara had been spooked, practically hopping off of Adam's couch.

And Adam... he'd just smiled, in that lopsided, carefree way of his, and told her they didn't have to do anything she didn't want to. She can still remember crawling gingerly back to him, and letting herself be held under the crook of his shoulder. The throbbing under her skin still didn't recede, and there was something uncomfortable in the way he'd cuddled her. Still, he hadn’t pressured her, and she'd been reassured by his smile and his willingness to wait for her.

When they'd finally had sex, it hadn't been what she was expecting. It was nice enough, but the thrumming underneath the surface of her remained, even when she did orgasm. It left her pent up and feeling like she needed something _more_. Still, he always listened to her and tried to make it as pleasant for her as he could. 

It always left Kara feeling like the problem was with her. Here was a guy who did what he could to make her feel good, but it still wasn't enough for her.

And now here she is, letting him walk away from her.

She looks up at the door that Adam had disappeared through. Is she really about to throw away a year's worth of memories and emotional work? Surely they can work through this?

She's just about to get up and run after him when her phone lights up. Lena's smiling face flashes on her screen and Kara stops.

Adam broke up with _her_ because he thought she was spending too much time with Lena. Because he thinks Kara's spending too much time with her _friend_. That's... That's just too-- 

Kara is allowed to have her own life and her own friends apart from Adam. She's allowed to spend as much time with her friends as she wants, and Lena is her best friend. Is he really asking Kara to choose between him and her _best friend?_ What kind of person does that?

She might have met Adam first, but Lena has managed to secure her position in Kara's life with a quickness and permanence that surprised her. Just months ago, she only knew Lena as the girl who caught her making out with a guy in the library. Now she's one of Kara's favorite people, and she can't imagine cutting Lena out of her life just for a guy.

She drops back down to the couch and reaches for her phone. She tucks her hair behind her ear and answers Lena's call.

"Hey."  Hearing Lena's voice makes her smile. But some of her melancholy probably still lingers in the way she says "Hi" because Lena, genius that she is, seems to deduce her mood just from her tone.

"Are you okay?"

Kara sighs over the phone and tucks her socked feet under her on the couch. "I just broke up with Adam."

There's a pause on the other end of the line where Lena doesn't speak, and all Kara can hear is the sound of music and other people in the background. Is Lena at a party? No, she wouldn't go without at least inviting Kara.

After another beat, Lena speaks again, and her voice is soft and sympathetic. It makes Kara's heart twinge, like her heart wants to just be sad and let Lena take care of it. "Oh, Kara... I'm sorry."

Kara sniffs into the phone. "Are you outside?"

"Yeah." Kara can picture Lena nodding. "I'm at the bar. Are you at your place? Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I can go there." Kara's already unfolding herself from the couch. "I wanna drink."

Lena huffs a gentle laugh into the phone, and her tone is amused. "A drunk Kara Danvers, huh? I've never seen that."

Lena's teasing makes Kara smile. "Under different circumstances, I probably wouldn't let you see. The last time I got drunk, Alex had to pull me off of the pool table at Midvale's only bar where I was performing my own rendition of ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’."

Lena’s laugh is musical over the phone. "Now _that_ I would pay to see."

"That's vodka-Kara, and you have to be my friend a minimum of two years before you get to see that. Tonight, you get tequila-Kara."

"I'm getting five shots, all for tequila-Kara. When Mon-El can manage to stop flirting with anything that has breasts, that is."

Kara laughs, already feeling better. She scrawls a quick note for Alex and leaves it on the fridge, then snatches her keys and wallet from the table by the door and calls an Uber, all while keeping Lena on the phone. 

During the short ride, she fills her friend in on everything that had happened, only leaving out what Adam had said about their friendship. It wouldn’t be fair to put that on Lena. It's Adam's fault for not being able to handle Kara's relationships outside of theirs.

By the time she gets to the bar, it's still pretty crowded, and Kara has to fight her way through a crowd of frat boys -- Mon-El's friends, probably -- so she can get to their usual booth, where Lena is sitting. 

Kara can see a guy hovering over the table, leaning over Lena with a grin. Kara huffs in annoyance, fighting her way through so she can tell the guy to go away. Guys are always trying to hit on Lena, even when she's clearly not interested. 

This time, Lena is leaning back in the booth, but instead of avoiding him, she's listening to him with a smile on her face. 

Kara is taken aback for a bit, before she recognizes that smile of Lena's -- amused and predatory, like she's about to devour whoever she's talking to and spit them out; it's the smile she wears whenever she's about to correct a misogynistic old professor soundly in front of the whole class. Kara knows because Alex had taken a video of that particular incident in one of their classes and showed it to her. 

Since then, Kara's known better than to engage Lena Luthor in an argument; she would probably eat her for breakfast.

Lena says something to the guy that Kara can't hear over the music and the loud conversation around her, but whatever it is makes his face fall and he leaves with his tail tucked between his legs. Kara snickers.

"Making grown men cry again, Miss Luthor?"

Lena looks up as Kara approaches, and the smile on her face becomes softer and brighter. "Kara!"

She slides over the seat and Kara scoots in beside her. Lena waits for her to take off her coat before leaning in conspiratorially. "Would you like me to give Adam the same treatment? I am a Luthor, and if there's one thing we Luthors know, it's how to get even."

Lena says this with a wicked smile on her face, and Kara chuckles. She puts her arms around her best friend and gives her a squeeze. "Oh, please, you're a softie, and you know it."

Lena pouts at her, and it's so adorable it just makes Kara smile even more. "I have no doubt you could ruin Adam's life if you wanted to, Lena. But we both know you wouldn't do it. You're too good a person to do that."

One corner of Lena's glossed lips rises in a crooked smile. "I would if you wanted me to."

Kara squeezes her again. "You're sweet, but no. I think I'd rather get drunk and maybe somehow erase the fact that I just threw away the past year of my life."

"Denial it is, then." Lena hands her a shot of tequila and raises her own. "To throwing away the past year of your life."

Kara grins. "Well, I wouldn't say the past year was a total loss. After all, I got _you_ out of it. And you're much better than a guy. So.... to the girl who caught me making out with a guy in the library and somehow still wanted to be my friend."

Lena chuckles, and the smile on her face is soft. "Cheers."

They each throw back their own shot, with Kara grimacing much more exaggeratedly than Lena who laughs, even as she reaches for the next one. "Nice. Thanks a lot. We can't all be like you, Miss Lena ‘Make-it-a-double’ Luthor."

Lena just laughs and passes her the next shot.

Kara doesn't usually drink as much as she does tonight, and she's pretty sure Alex is gonna make fun of how much her lightweight sister is drinking right now. But she's just been through a break-up, so sue her. 

Besides, she's with Lena. And despite the fact that Lena keeps the drinks coming as much as Kara needs, she makes sure that Kara isn't inebriated to a dangerous level and that she at least drinks water after several shots. She keeps away the guys who try to bother them, and she even gets Kara burgers and fries from the bar (curly fries, 'cause she knows they're Kara's favorite).

Still, three hours later -- when the bar is almost empty, except for her and Lena, and Mon-El is around there somewhere -- Kara is pretty drunk and all but draped over the table. 

Lena isn't. Drunk, that is. But then again, Lena can hold her liquor better than Kara and could probably drink her under the table.

Kara sniggers. That's funny. Her and Lena huddled under the table at Al's like the table's one of those forts that she and Alex make during sister night.

"Lena, let's make a fort!"

It's such a good idea, and she's just about to crawl under the table, but Lena pulls her back up to the seat. Her eyes are pretty glassy, and they're pretty when she smiles so softly like that. To Kara's drunk eyes, Lena's just a little blurry, especially around the edges, but she's still pretty, and it makes Kara smile.

The orange bar lights reflect off the bottles and glasses and it makes Lena look like she’s been painted in all these amber liquor-laced colors. Kara smiles widely at blurry Lena. 

She's really too perfect, Kara's best friend. Only Lena Luthor could look this divine in crappy dive-bar light. 

"You're so prettyyy and nice to look at, Lena.”

Blurry Lena's cheeks turn pink, and she reaches over to take Kara's shot away from her. "Okay, I think that's enough of the tequila." 

Kara protests, " Noooo! It's not the tequila that thinks that! I could drrrink chocolate milk and I would still think you're pretty." 

She makes a swipe for the glass, but her hand lands on Lena's instead, and that's much better. Lena has such pretty hands, Kara turns them over in her own, playing with Lena's fingers. So pretty...

While Kara's determinedly studying Lena's fingers and fiddling with each one, she hears Mon-El vaguely in the background. Whatever he's saying doesn't seem as important as playing with Lena's hands right now, so she doesn't pay attention.

Except now, Lena's fingers are tangling with her own, and she's pulling Kara uuuupp and out the door. Now that she's mentioned it, she kinda wants chocolate milk, and maybe Lena has chocolate milk. Lena would definitely be the kind of person who says she loves scotch, but secretly loves chocolate milk more.

One of these days, Kara's gonna get her to admit her secret love of chocolate milk because Kara loves chocolate milk, and she would love it if Lena loved chocolate milk too.

She's not quite sure how it happened, but now she's in the back of Alex's car. Alex is grinning, and Alex is DEFINITELY laughing at her. "Say goodbye to Lena, Kara."

"Goodbye to Lena, Kara."

Kara's eyelids are drooping, but they open a little bit when she feels Lena lean down to kiss her on the top of her head. That makes Kara grin widely ear-to-ear, even if her eyes are half-closed. She hears Lena and Alex talking, but her eyes are too heavy, and she raises her hand (or thinks she does) when she hears Lena say "Good night, Kara."

She falls asleep on the way home and rouses just enough to make it up to the apartment, hearing Alex grunt and mutter about how heavy she is, before she drops face-first into bed. 

When she wakes up in the morning, she’s got a whopping hangover. Her head feels wadded like it's full of cotton and her tongue is dry like sandpaper in her mouth. Thankfully, there’s a glass of water next to her bed, which she gulps in one go. 

The smell of eggs cooking and coffee brewing tells her that Alex is already making breakfast in the kitchen. As she trudges over to say good morning to her sister, Alex looks up. “‘Morning. Someone had fun with Lena last night, huh?”

Kara just groans and lays her head on the cool marble countertop. Somewhere above her, she can hear Alex snicker. “By the way, I have no idea why, but Lena said to give you this.”

Kara looks up blearily to see Alex slide a glass of chocolate milk in front of her. “And she said to tell you that you were right, she does love chocolate milk.”

“Really?” Kara lifts her head up with a smile. It makes her a little dizzy, and she has to hold onto her head to keep it from spinning off. But her mood feels a hundred times lighter, and she happily takes a big gulp.

“Never heard of chocolate milk as a hangover cure before.” Alex mutters as she turns back to her eggs, leaving Kara with a chocolate milk moustache, grinning ear to ear. “You guys are weird.”

....

....

....

....

One good thing that comes out of her break-up is that Kara has more time on her hands.

Without a guy to worry about, she spends more time with her friends. Nia has asked her for advice in some of her classes, which Kara had taken the previous year, and she's only too happy to help the younger girl during her free time.

And when she's not mentoring Nia, she hangs out with Lena. Sometimes, they study together in the library. Lena has no problem with the quiet, but more often than not, the librarian - who used to be so nice to Lena - will be coming over to shush Kara, who can never sit still. 

She can't help it, she always has to point something out to Lena or whisper something to her, or giggle at the way she's chewing the end of her pen to a mangled mess, 'cause who would have guessed Lena Luthor is a pen-chewer?

And Lena, tired of almost getting booted out of the library so many times, helps Kara think of ways to improve her concentration. They've found out that Kara learns better when she talks topics through, especially with Lena -- so Lena's taken to recording their conversations when they're studying in her apartment, or Kara's. And when they're in the library, Kara listens to these recordings with her headphones on. 

It works for Kara, because it's almost like talking to Lena when she can't talk to her, and she really likes the sound of Lena's voice. And it works for Lena, because she's finally able to regain the good will she'd built with the librarian since freshman year before Kara almost destroyed it.

They've also found out that Kara retains information better when she's doing some kind of physical activity. Sometimes it's just sitting on Lena's gym ball, bouncing lightly as she brushes up on the multi-step flow theory. Sometimes it's doing push-ups while Lena reads from  _ The Investigative Reporter’s Handbook _ out loud to her. On exam days, she'll get through an entire workout on her bedroom floor while Lena sits cross-legged on her bed, drilling her on the theories of mass communication.

Some nights, they'll stay up so late studying -- or binge-watching TV shows with a huge bowl of popcorn between them with their books open and forgotten on the table after their "five-minute break" -- that they just fall asleep on the couch.

At least once a week, Alex finds them on the sofa, draped over each other. 

The first few times she'd woken them both, Lena had tried to leave, protesting that she didn't mean to impose. But Alex had simply pushed her into Kara's room, where Kara was already sleepily crawling onto one side of her bed, leaving the other side empty for Lena.

Now it happens so often, Lena doesn't even protest anymore, she just drags herself onto the bed beside Kara and curls up next to her. It makes Kara smile, because she likes that Lena is so comfortable around her and at Kara’s place now that she doesn’t even think of leaving anymore. 

And also because the sight of Lena Luthor with bed head and bags under her eyes the first thing in the morning after an all-night study session is her favorite. 

She's also learned that Lena is a snappy little thing before her morning coffee. Coffee, apparently, is the magic potion that turns bedhead Lena into the goddess that walks the halls of NCU, shutting up professors and frat boys.

Alex sometimes joins them in the mornings when her schedule doesn't require her to rush out the door for a full day of classes. She's just as crabby as Lena in the mornings, and Kara, the only morning person among them, is tasked with feeding and fueling her two morning monsters with caffeine and sunshine.

By this time, Lena's almost a fixture at their apartment. Kara slips a copy of her keys to the apartment into Lena’s purse one day, thinking it would be a lark to see how long before Lena notices. It takes weeks before Lena uses it, and Kara thinks at first that she didn’t see it.

But then one night, Kara comes home to find a surprise spread of pizza and ice cream waiting for her. Lena greets her with a box of Noonan's sticky buns, and even though she doesn’t say anything about the keys, the soft, shy smile on her face makes it feel less like a lark and more… meaningful. 

Suddenly, Kara is immensely glad she did it. A week later, she finds a copy of the keys to Lena’s apartment in the front pocket of her bag with a note that tells her to use it anytime, day or night.

After that exchange, Lena’s over her place so often, Alex doesn't even blink when she sees Lena making dinner for Kara one evening, while Kara sets up their customary nest of blankets and pillows on the couch.

"You're over here so much, I should start charging you rent, Luthor." Alex remarks with a grin as she watches Lena reach for a pot in one of the cupboards.

"Would a bottle of Macallan 25 year cover it?" Lena asks as she strains to reach for the top shelf. She’s on her tiptoes and her NCU sweater -- Kara’s NCU sweater -- rides up where she’s straining so much.

"Yep, that'll do. Need some help there?"

Lena shakes her head as she stubbornly reaches for the pot. "I got it."

Kara grins from where she's watching Lena's futile attempts to reach the top shelf. "You wanna get on my shoulders, Small Library Girl?"

Alex raises an eyebrow at her and mouths  _ 'Small Library Girl?' _ but Kara ignores her. Lena throws her an indignant side-glare. "You're only six inches taller than me."

Kara saunters over to help her with a grin. She reaches past where Lena is about to strain several muscles just to get a pot. She places her hands on Lena's hips and maneuvers her out of the way. "Hey, six inches is plenty. Six inches can get you what you need."

Kara grabs the pot and brandishes it in front of Lena's adorably pink and huffy face. She offers it to Lena with a grin, all teeth. "It's not your fault you're small and cute."

"I am not _cute_ ," Lena hisses the word with such indignant derision, and honestly, that only makes it cuter. "Luthors are not cute!"

"That pout you're giving me is just proving it right now."

"That is an insult that cannot be borne. No dumplings for you, Miss Danvers."

"Whaaat?" Kara looks at her in horror. "Noooooo! Lena! I promise I’ll stop if you let me have dumplings."

“Well... helping me reach high things is the whole reason I kept you around.”

“So it wasn’t my charm and my winning personality?” Kara pouts at her, and Lena laughs. The smile on Lena’s face makes her eyes crinkle with mirth and shows off her double dimples, and it really is unfair how cute she is.

“Well, those too.”

Alex rolls her eyes at them. "You two are idiots."


	4. SUMMER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Come On, Come Out by A Fine Frenzy

**AUGUST**

Lorenzo’s has quickly become one of Kara’s favorite spots in Metropolis. It's in a nice neighborhood, close enough to walk to from Clark and Lois's apartment, and just a short bus ride away from the Daily Planet. 

It's no Noonan's, but their peach crostatas are really good, and Kara enjoys the place -- especially because she's been here so often that the owner recognizes her now and always saves her a table on the sidewalk. Her sixth slice is also always free, "on the house", Lorenzo winks as he slides it over to a gleeful Kara.

Today, Kara's writing in her notebook, a half-eaten slice of blueberry crostata at her elbow, along with a hot chocolate that's cooled down by now. She's been really inspired to write more lately since her vacation in Metropolis started, and she wants to take advantage of it. The more she hones her writing, the better she'll be when she gets back to National City.

She's so absorbed in her writing, she forgets her surroundings for a moment, so she's startled when a hand slides around her waist. She jumps and whirls around to punch whichever jerk thinks he can feel her up. 

It's lucky she stops to look before punching because she comes face to face with James.

Kara manages to drop her hand before she punches her boyfriend in the face. She’s pretty sure that would make for a horrible date. She laughs sheepishly. "James, you startled me!"

James laughs too and winds his arms around her. He presses a soft kiss to her temple. "Sorry."

Kara smiles back, her eyes closing. "No, it's okay. I was just busy writing. I'm trying to get better at it so I can show Snapper - I mean, Professor Carr - I'm good enough to be in the paper."

"You are," James reassures her as he slides into the seat opposite her. "You're a gifted writer, Kara, and you're getting better every day. I think Snapper knows that too, that's why he's being so hard on you. I know he's tough, and honestly, I think he could be nicer about it, but Snapper always tries to push people to be the best they can be. When I first joined the Gazette, he was really hard on me too. But now, being at the Planet, I see how much he's prepared me for how it really is in the big leagues."

Kara studies him. There's a new serenity about James, draped over him like a mantle that's settled there since he's been here in Metropolis.

They'd met up here a month ago. Clark and Lois had invited her to stay over for the summer, and Kara is always eager for the chance to see her cousin and Lois. Not to mention it gave her the excuse to sneak into the Planet whenever she could.

She'd met up with James there. She'd known that he'd gotten an internship at the Planet even when they were still in National City, but it had still been a little surprising to see him there. 

Although this is just an internship, James looks.... different here. Somehow both like the James she knows in National City, and a completely different person at the same time. Settled, confident, he exudes a calm assuredness that Kara found herself drawn to. Like he's where he is supposed to be.

They'd gotten together for a coffee after James got off work, and it had been nice. Really nice. The kind of nice she hadn't felt since Adam. 

The only time Kara had been that comfortable with someone was with her sister. Or Lena, but that was different.

They'd gone for a walk at Centennial Park afterwards. James had told her about his work at the Planet, and Kara told him about everything she'd enjoyed about Metropolis since she got here. She'd asked him about Lucy, and James had just huffed out a soft laugh and told her they'd broken up before the summer. Kara had placed her hand in his in sympathetic comfort, but she couldn't deny that there was a small part of her that flared up hopefully at that.

It was almost inevitable after that.

There's something almost novel about James. She'd always known it was there, even in the days when she'd had her little crush on him back when she didn't know he was dating Lucy. Something that makes her stomach flutter and feel bubbly, like fizzy-drink bubbly. Being around him feels nice, and it doesn't hurt that he's always so supportive of her.

When she tells him of her stumbling attempts at writing, he's always there to give her encouragement as well as honest and constructive criticism. Even though they've only been together a short time, she already feels like she's become a better writer, thanks to him.

And when Alex had come over for the weekend, James had brought his sister along too, and Kara could kiss him (and she did), because introducing Alex to Kelly turned out to be the best thing ever -- well, second best thing -- because her sister apparently turns into a disaster around _his_ sister.

The minute Alex meets Kelly, it's clear to Kara that she's smitten. Kara can't blame her, Kelly is pretty awesome. 

She kind of reminds Kara of Lena a little. Kelly has that intelligent gleam in her eye. She's sharp as a whip, like Lena, but in a way that's more subtly observant, rather than piercing in the way Lena is. They're both funny and sweet, though Lena is more prone to sarcasm and bite, while Kelly doesn't hide her softness under a protective layer. Instead, it almost radiates from her in a way that puts everyone around her at ease.

Everyone except Alex, apparently. 

Kara hides a snigger whenever she watches Alex trip over her words around Kelly until she just decides to shut up rather than embarrass herself more. It's amusing to watch Alex awkwardly scratch the back of her head like she used to when they were in middle school as her whole face turns red when Kelly smiles at her.

Kara and James take bets on them, and when Alex shows up for dinner at Clark’s apartment with glassy eyes, a dopey grin and the faintest smudge of plum lipstick (the kind Alex would never wear on her own, the kind that Kelly favors) on her lips, Kara cheers and gets the easiest ten bucks she’s ever won.

It's perfectly inevitable then for all four of them to go on double dates together, picnics in Centennial Park on James's weekends off, or hanging out at the bar just outside of Kelly's campus on Friday nights. It's fun, hanging all together as a group, and Kara still gets James all to herself whenever she brings Clark's lunch over to the Planet.

Clark rolls his eyes at Kara's weak excuses for dropping by, and turns a blind eye when James sneaks her over to the copy room for a kiss or two, before he sneaks her into the layout room. And yeah, he's still only an intern and the most he gets to do is fact-checking, making copies and looking over layouts. But James tells her he's learning so much, just being there. 

And so is Kara. 

Watching all these people rushing to and fro in the bullpen, hearing the clacking of keys on the computer -- even Perry White yelling from his office -- it's all so exciting, and Kara feels swept up by it all.

It's a heady kind of rush, and standing in the bullpen of the Daily Planet, Kara forgets the snide voice and harsh criticisms of Professor Carr. This, _this_ , is what she wants to do, and she's not gonna let a snobby old professor stand in her way.

James is all encouragement, and he tells Alex and Kelly all about Kara's potential and how this is gonna open up a lot of doors for her and how he'll be with her every step of the way. He puts his arm around Kara, and she beams, high off of the support of her boyfriend. Sitting here with him, and Alex and Kelly, it feels almost complete.

She wishes Lena could be here, though. As happy as she is, her happiness isn't quite complete without her best friend to share it with.

Lena's in Metropolis too, she knows. Kara had texted her, wanting to see her friend at least once during her vacation. But Lena has been working in the R&D department of her family's company, and Kara doesn't really want to bother her when she's working on something so important. 

They still text though, and despite the fact that Lena's schedule must be busy, Kara appreciates that she still has the time to reply to her ramblings about James and Kelly. 

Lena tells her she’s happy for her, that she’s with James now. Kara feels a sweet rush of affection for her friend, and it puts a soft smile on her face. Since she can’t physically convey that affection, she sends Lena a barrage of smiling emojis and hearts instead.

Finally, two days before Kara goes back to National City, she gets the text from Lena. She's available for brunch that weekend, and would Kara and her friends and sister want to meet her? Kara's response is a quick and enthusiastic yes, accompanied by her usual string of emojis. Even if the others can't, she'll gladly meet up with Lena.

Luckily, it's a weekend, and both James and Kelly are able to come. They meet up outside of a chic bistro, and Kelly remarks that it's usually hard to get a reservation at this place just as Lena breezes over to them. She doesn't even have to say anything to the host at the door, the man just leads them to a table with an amazing view of the city.

The place is chic, and the food is great, but in all honesty, Kara had been a little nervous about this brunch. Partly because she really really wants them all to get along. And also partly because she and James and Alex and Kelly have been hanging out all this time, and she really doesn't want Lena to feel like a fifth wheel.

Turns out she should have known better than to worry about the first one.

After a momentary awkwardness, Lena and Alex dive right back to their teasing camaraderie in National City. And Lena and Kelly get along wonderfully. 

When Lena finds out that Kelly is studying psychology, she gets a look in her eye that Kelly accurately interprets as panic and guarded animosity. Kara will never let her live that down, but it breaks the ice, especially when Kelly gently teases her about it, and even Lena gives a soft, self-deprecating laugh. But Lena is her usual caustically charming self, and Kelly has a talent for making people around her feel comfortable and relaxed.

As for Lena being the fifth wheel, Kara goes out of her way to make sure that Lena doesn't feel left out.

She sits next to her, listening to her talk about her work in bio-integration of cybernetic tissues, and how her summer has been. Kara, in turn, tells her all about her writing and how inspiring it is to see Clark and James at work at the Planet. How this trip has really fed her love of journalism, and how she can't wait to go back to school and try applying to the NCU Gazette again.

It's really nice to be able to talk to Lena again after not seeing her for a month, and it's easy to fall right back to the comfortable closeness that the two of them share. Sitting here, with Lena listening to her ramble with a fond smile, the two of them surrounded by their friends -- Kara finally feels that small sense of completeness that she'd been missing before.

She places her hand over Lena's and smiles brightly at her. The excitement of the past month has swept her away, but she's really missed her best friend.

At one point during their meal, Lena gets a call. She gently disentangles her hand from Kara's and excuses herself from the group to answer it outside. Kara watches her out of the corner of her eye through the glass windows. She doesn't know who Lena's talking to on the phone, but it must be personal rather than professional. Lena's laughing, her head thrown back in apparent mirth, and she has a playful smile on her face.

It makes Kara curious. She hasn't seen that smile before.

It's softer than the deadly smile Lena gives misogynistic old men, but it has that same mischievous gleam. It's not like the soft smiles she gives Kara either. This one has a sharp edge to it, something anticipatory.

When Lena returns, she still has echoes of that smile on her face, and Kara's curiosity is piqued even more. She attempts to give Lena a casual look. "Work?"

Lena shakes her head as she sits back down beside Kara. She doesn't take Kara's hand again, and instead slips her phone inside her bag. "No, actually, it's an old friend of mine from boarding school. She goes to Metropolis U. Maybe you know her? Andrea Rojas?"

She's looking at Kelly, who nods a little. "Not personally, but I've heard of her. Doesn’t her father own Obsidian North? I think she's the head of the Chi Omega sorority, right?"

"Yes. She usually spends her summers at her family’s vineyard in Mendoza, but she got back early and wants to catch up with me."

Kara listens with a curious ear, but she can feel her good mood from before dissipating slightly. Lena has never mentioned this Andrea Rojas before. And given Lena's expressions during the phone call, Kara's sure there's a story there that Lena's not telling.

The rest of her summer passes by uneventfully, though it does involve more texts between her and Lena, and the occasional Facetime call when Lena's on her break at the lab. 

The first time she sees Lena in her lab coat wearing a pair of glasses, Kara's stomach gives a funny twist. She finds she can't quite tease Lena about the outfit, so instead, she just half-heartedly teases her about what a giant nerd she is. Not her best work, even Lena calls her out on it, but that was the best she could come up with at the time.

The best calls between them are the ones that last through most of the night. They start when Lena gets home from Luthor Corp -- she’ll usually put her phone on the counter while she makes dinner, and Kara keeps some show or whatever as background noise while she asks Lena about her day. 

More often than not, these calls end when one of them falls asleep -- usually Lena, tired from her day at the Luthor Corp labs -- while the other smiles fondly and whispers a soft ‘good night’ before ending the call.  
  


....

....

....

....

**SEPTEMBER**

When they get back to NCU for junior year, Kara finds things are different.

Of course, she wasn't dumb enough to think that the carefree excitement of her summer would last during the year, and she'd anticipated the deluge of work their professors immediately rain down on them. But she'd at least hoped that the warm feeling of closeness with her friends would follow her back.

It's impossible, of course. 

Kelly is all the way at Metropolis U, and though she always says hi to Kara whenever she’s on Skype, her video chats are mostly restricted to Alex and her bedroom. Kara had put her foot down and ordered the restriction when she'd walked into the living room to find Kelly in lingerie on Alex's computer monitor and Alex in her underwear. Kara had rapidly escaped to the bar to try and bleach her brain with alcohol with Alex yelling "You were supposed to be in class!" behind her.

And since it's both Alex's and James' last year at NCU, their schedules have gotten busier. If Kara's workload had increased, James' workload had almost tripled, especially since he's also the school paper’s editor. 

Three weeks into the beginning of the school year, Kara finally manages to accomplish her goal of securing a place in the NCU Gazette. She gets the email from Professor Carr approving her article, and Kara would swear she can hear the grumbling, begrudging note in Snapper's commendation. And they say you can't use tone in email.

She and the gang celebrate at Al's bar, with Lena buying a round of drinks so they could toast a shyly blushing Kara. James kisses her, whispers congratulations in her ear, and at least for that night, Kara feels that the sense of warmth she'd had over the summer was back and would stay.

She's excited to finally start working at the paper, and even more excited to know that she'll be working with her boyfriend. Though, in retrospect, she should have known that they wouldn't really be working "together". Since James _is_ the editor, displaying their relationship in any way in the newsroom would be incredibly unprofessional. He can't be seen as playing favorites.

Still, she's learning so much. It might not have the fast-paced glamor of the Daily Planet, but with each new article, Snapper pushes her to the best of her writing ability, and Kara rises to the challenge.

If things aren't as rosy as they were in the summer, they've at least settled into a familiar albeit stressful pattern.

The one thing that hasn't changed is Lena, which Kara is infinitely grateful for. Her best friend always has time to listen to her ramble on about things at the paper, articles she's planning to write, or how Alex keeps hogging the bathroom in the mornings.

The only thing she doesn’t talk to Lena about is James.

She… doesn't really know why, to be honest. Lena is always willing to listen to anything she has to say, God knows why -- but for some reason, thinking about Lena and James in the same context makes her uncomfortable. 

And when she mentions James, Lena sometimes gets this… look in her eyes that she can't quite decipher. It's very subtle, and Kara only catches it because she knows Lena so well. She thinks maybe it's because Lena doesn't like James, but she watches them at game nights sometimes, and they seem to get along just fine. 

Maybe Kara’s just imagining it.

But she still doesn't bring up James when she and Lena are laughing over their coffee cups at Noonan's, or when they're texting emojis rapidfire (or at least Kara is, because for all of Lena's genius, she’s never really figured out emojis beyond the single ❤ she'll occasionally send Kara), or when Lena’s sleeping over at her place, with the two of them burrowed, comfy and warm, under the blankets.

And honestly, Kara prefers it that way.

When she's with Lena, her attention always seems to narrow down to the two of them and whatever space they occupy. It makes her feel like they're in a bubble, just the two of them, that nobody else can touch. Like Lena can somehow block the rest of the crazy, stressful world for Kara.

She likes to hear Lena talk about her classes, or complain about her old “relics of the past” professors. (Lena’s words not hers).

She likes it even more when they’re sitting on her couch or Lena’s, drinking chocolate milk in their pajamas, because it reminds Lena of her childhood days before the Luthors --- when her birth mother would let her drink chocolate milk before bed while she read her a story.

When Lena told her that story from her childhood, Kara had immediately insisted on them putting on their pajamas (even though it was the middle of the day) and dragged Lena over to the couch to cuddle next to her with two big glasses of chocolate milk between them. 

It’s become something of a tradition now, but instead of a story, Kara puts on something from Netflix and lets Lena snuggle into her side. 

Kara’s noticed that she tends to pay more attention to Lena then than on whatever movie they’re watching. But she can’t help it. Lena always looks so cute -- in pajamas borrowed from Kara that are always a little too long for her in the sleeves, so that all she can see are Lena’s fingers poking out to grasp the glass between her hands. The chocolate is almost sickly sweet, and Lena likes to complain that this much sugar is gonna send her into a diabetic coma, but she never refuses whenever Kara suggests it.

That’s the thing with Lena. There are very few people Lena will tolerate, but she never says no to Kara, especially when it means they can spend more time together. And Kara laps it up, greedily hoards these little moments she can get with her best friend where it’s just the two of them in their own little world.

Kara had done her research and found out which brand of chocolate Lena used to drink more than fifteen years ago back in Ireland and ordered it online. She’ll never forget that first time Lena took a sip of the chocolate milk, expecting the usual brand from Kara’s fridge. 

Lena’s eyes had widened as she took another sip, as if to confirm the taste from her memories. Kara had met her wide-eyed stare over her own glass with an ear-to-ear grin as she sipped her own drink. The sight of happy-sad tears in Lena’s eyes, the broken, whispered “thank you”, and the entirely sweet hug Lena had given her afterward had been worth the insane shipping fees.

She might not be able to bring Lena’s mother back, but she can help recreate Lena’s memories as close as she can get. And every time Lena sighs and melts into her side while they drink chocolate milk in their pajamas, Kara feels a warm glow in her chest.

She feels happy.


	5. JUNIOR YEAR - MARCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Mentions of sex
> 
> My playlist for this chapter:  
> I Miss You by Adele

A drop of sweat trickles down Lena's chest as she arches her neck, her back curving upward off the bed. She's so close, and it makes her nearly frantic. Her hands clench on silken strands as a clever tongue draws relentless patterns over her sensitive skin while long fingers curl inside her. 

She's so close, _so close_ , she just needs… her head falls forward, mouth falling open in a gasp as she sees a pair of blue eyes staring up at her from between her legs, gaze half-lidded and dark with hunger. And all her breath escapes her in a breathless rush to form one word as she comes.

_"Kara…"_

Pleasure, white-hot, races from between Lena's legs up her spine, spreading all over her body like a wave, and she thinks she whites out for a few minutes.

When she comes to, there is no weight on top of her anymore and the cleft between her legs is empty. Suddenly, the sweat all over her body feels clammy and sticky, and her chest feels like a hollow cavern.

"Who's Kara?"

The telltale flick of the lighter from the other side of the bed makes Lena sigh. A prickling feeling settles over her skin even as her body still comes down from its high. She refuses to call it disappointment. 

She sits up as a plume of smoke trails near her cheek and gives the other girl a dry glare. "You really should stop smoking, Andy."

"Do you really wanna talk about bad habits right now?" Andrea cocks an eyebrow at her before gesturing at Lena's naked body. Blue eyes -- the wrong shade of blue, Lena can't help but think -- look up at her with an accusing glimmer. Reflexively, Lena pulls the sheet up to her chest. "That's a little pot-kettle, don't you think?"

"At least open a window or something." Lena rises from Andrea's bed to open the French windows to let the smoke out. Her legs still feel a little weak, but she's not about to let Andrea see that.

"She must be special, this Kara." Andrea purposefully blows a cloud of smoke at her, a wry smile on her pretty lips. "For you to be calling her name when you come. Used to be my name you were screaming."

Her words are slurred in a casual drawl, but Lena doesn't miss the small baleful note carefully hidden in her voice. She drops the sheet and picks up her sweater that Andrea had carelessly thrown on the floor. 

"That was years ago." Lena puts the sweater on, very deliberately not looking at Andrea to remind her of the terms under which she was allowed back in Lena's bed. 

Instead, she focuses on gathering all her clothing strewn across Andrea’s room. Her jeans are somehow on top of Andrea’s laptop, and where the hell are her panties? She finds them at the foot of the bed and hooks them up her legs, aware of Andrea’s eyes on her.

"It wasn't that long ago. The last time was in your dorm room before Christmas break our senior year, remember?" Lena does remember, and she's surprised Andrea does too. 

That had been five days before Russell Rogers had come to St Geneviève's to pick up his sister, and Andrea had gotten that look in her eye -- that searing, hooded look she gets when she wants something badly enough to ruin everything else for it. 

She had all but forgotten Lena then, so she's surprised Andrea would remember now.

“You know, you not wanting to talk about her just confirms my theory, right?” Andrea drawls before taking another drag of her cigarette, her chest expanding slow and luxuriant, just like she used to back in those days when she would steal their history teacher’s pack of Parisiennes so she could smoke it after a round of awkward fumbling and exploring in Lena’s dorm room.

The sex had gotten better, much better, but Andrea never got over the habit.

Lena puts her clothes on quickly. This isn’t a conversation she wants to have. Not in the apartment of her ex-best friend after the best (and worst) orgasm she’s had in a long time. Andrea huffs petulantly as Lena grabs the rest of her things without even trying to hide the fact that she’s fleeing.

“Fine, be that way. You know I’m gonna find out anyway.”

Lena shoots her one last glare, and just before she leaves, she reaches out to pluck the cigarette from Andrea’s fingers. She takes one long drag from it before putting it out carelessly on the nightstand. Andrea returns her glare, and Lena pulls her forward for one short but deep kiss, her teeth sinking into the soft bell of Andrea’s lips before she lets go.

“Don’t even _think_ about it.”

She almost slams the door shut on her way out, but she’s not that petty. She does hear the soft thud of Andrea’s pillow hitting the door and she laughs under her breath. Andy always did like her temper tantrums.

Once she’s outside Andrea’s apartment, Lena exhales, long and slow in the early morning air. 

She debates her options. She can call the family chauffeur and have him pick her up, but she’d rather not do her walk of shame anywhere Lillian or Lex can witness. In fact, she’d rather not be anywhere near her mother or brother at all.

There’s a small café close by that she knows would probably be open at this time, so she sets off for it on foot. It’s still pretty early, so the street is about as empty as it gets for Metropolis. Only a few people are milling about, and in her sweater and jeans, no one recognizes her as a Luthor.

If it were always just like this, Lena wouldn’t mind Metropolis. But as things are, she hates being back here. Everything feels oppressive, and she can feel the well-shod foot of the Luthors pressing down on her neck. Whenever she returns to Metropolis, she feels as if an iron rod is being thrust up her spine (must be the years of Lillian threatening to do just that so Lena would correct her posture). 

She feels like a crueler person here.

It was one of the reasons why she had chosen to go to NCU in the first place. It’s far enough out of Lillian’s immediate influence for Lena to be able to breathe for once in her life, and Lex refuses to open headquarters in National City because he hates the place. Too much sun for his bald head, Lena snickers inwardly.

When she's in National City, she doesn't feel so much like a Luthor. When she’s around Kara, she feels like she’s just Lena.

Lorenzo’s is still empty when she gets there and orders a coffee. The owner, Lorenzo smiles at her, but she can tell he doesn’t recognize her. She slides gratefully into a booth in the corner and pulls the sleeves of her sweater over her fingers.

It’s only then that Lena realizes it’s not her sweater at all. It’s one of Kara’s NCU sweaters that she had borrowed during one of their sleepovers. She had never returned it, had ostensibly forgotten about it, and Kara had never asked for it back. Lena never told her that she had worn the sweater at home for four days straight without washing it because it smelled like Kara’s cinnamon and dandelion scent.

Lena plucks at the soft material, feeling a hot swoop of something that feels like guilt deep in her stomach. She feels dirty all of a sudden, and not in a good way. Her skin prickles under the soft fabric, and she wants to take Kara’s sweater off -- but she belatedly realizes that she had forgotten her bra at Andrea’s place, and she really doesn’t wanna flash poor old Lorenzo.

She shouldn’t have come here. This thing with Andrea is a mistake, and she knows it.

But Kara had given her the sweetest smile just before they said goodbye for spring break at her apartment two days ago. Her blue eyes had been soft and iridescent, pink lips curling up at the corners in that tender way Lena knows is just for her. 

Lena had wanted to kiss her so badly, she had leaned forward to do it. Thankfully, her brain had kicked in at the last minute, and she opened her arms for a hug instead. Kara had returned her embrace enthusiastically, clinging to Lena so much that they swayed a little on their feet

She had texted Andrea the second she arrived in Metropolis.

That wasn’t the first time. The first time had been after that near-masochistic brunch with Kara and the others last summer.

Finding out that Kara had started dating James was bad enough. It had felt like a stab in the gut, and she should have known then to stay away, but no -- she had to let herself witness it in person. Seeing Kara leaning into James with a soft smile on her face, hearing the happy way she spoke about him and his work at the Planet, listening to their little inside jokes.

Even that should have been an ice bucket in Lena's face… but Kara, sweet and oblivious, had held her hand and made sure she never felt left out, smiling at her in that lovely, warm way that never fails to make Lena feel like she’s somehow worthy of all that attention, all that caring.

Then the brunch had ended, and Kara left with James. And Lena had left for Andrea’s apartment, pushed the other girl to the wall and kissed her the way she wanted to kiss Kara -- slow and hot and wet, and all but screaming of a hungry longing that she feels all the way down to the very center of her.

It’s not the best coping mechanism. She knows that. But then again, Luthors aren’t known for having good coping mechanisms. After all, years of alcohol abuse had driven her father to his grave. Maybe Lena’s mean, self-destructive streak is genetic.

Because there’s no way she’s coming out of this unscathed. And maybe she’s not the only one, because she’s heard the hurt note in Andrea’s voice today. Lena laughs bitterly. Kara always tells her she's so selfless, so good. If only she knew that Lena is very much a Luthor in this respect because she still won’t stop -- _can’t_ stop it.

Because the fact of the matter is, despite knowing better, Lena has once again fallen in love with someone she can't have.

Maybe the falling had started in that fermentation restaurant when Kara had so earnestly insisted that Lena’s worth wasn’t tied to her money or connections, and Lena's foolish heart had decided that finally, _finally_ here is someone she can trust.

Maybe it had started in that quiet, secluded corner of the library when Kara had handed her the book of fairy tales with a curious, open smile that made the rest of the world fade away into the background.

Maybe it had started the first night Lena had slept over at Kara’s place when Kara, sleepy and warm, had made enough space for Lena to slip into her bed and immediately rolled over to nuzzle into her, arms wrapping around Lena’s waist as she pressed a half-asleep kiss to Lena’s shoulder.

Whenever it started, it’s landed Lena here -- indulging in an ex-friends-with-benefits relationship just to manage feelings that have been slowly growing out of control. Because this is the only way she can watch Kara kiss James on game nights, and still smile at her and pretend she's happy for them without going mad.

She needs to stop. It's not fair to Andrea or to herself.

Her phone chimes from her pocket and she sees that it's a text from Andrea. _Tonight @ 7? Let's see if I can get you to forget her name for a change._

Lena's hand hovers thoughtfully over the screen. Maybe she's not the only one with unhealthy coping mechanisms.

She almost pockets her phone again, but when she looks up, she sees the impressive display of pastries Lorenzo is setting up behind the counter. Rows of flaky sfogliatelle, fat little bomboloni dusted with white sugar, each delectable row lit by charming little golden lights. 

Lena smiles, Kara would love these.

She lifts her phone to take a picture of the display case and sends it to Kara before she remembers that it's probably 4 AM in National City. She doesn't expect her phone to chime again less than 5 minutes later.

_Are you at Lorenzos??? 😯😯😯🍰🍰🍰🍰🤤🤤🤤_

Kara's usual string of emojis makes Lena smile, and she settles back into her seat to type out a reply.

_Lena: Yeah. Y are u awake @ 4 AM?_

_Kara: Phone woke me up._

_Kara: I always wake up for donuts, and Lorenzo's has awesome ones!!!_

_Kara: and their cannoli. And the torrone._

_Kara: okay everything is good._

_Kara: my favorite is the crostata. But knowing you, you'd probably like the tiramisu better._

Lena laughs as a string of Kara's rambling appears on her screen. Despite the fact that it's early morning and Lillian would be scandalized at the thought of dessert for breakfast, Lena gets the tiramisu. 

The 😀😀😀😊😊❤❤❤🥰🥰🥰🥰 she gets when she sends Kara a picture of the dessert is worth it. Lena takes a bite and moans just a little bit at the flavors in her mouth.

_You were right._

She receives a barrage of kissy faces in return, and after that her phone is silent, telling her that Kara has probably fallen asleep again. Lena smiles affectionately at the screen as if it could offer Kara up to her.

The message from Andrea taunts her in the background, waiting silently. Lena sighs.

_See you at 7._


	6. SUMMER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Sex Tourist by French Kicks  
> Movement by Hozier  
> Tadhana by Up Dharma Down  
> Ang Huling El Bimbo by Eraserheads  
> In my head, Kara and Lena are dancing to Crystal by Stevie Nicks (the version from the Practical Magic soundtrack, I always loved that song)

Kara’s summer once again features a depressing lack of Lena. Her best friend is all the way in Metropolis, working in Luthor Corp’s R&D department, while Kara’s stuck in her summer job at Midvale’s only newspaper. 

Not that Kara isn’t grateful for the job or the experience, but it tends to get boring when all she’s covering is the opening of a new salon. Plus, she has to share her desk in the small office with one of the older reporters, Bill, who always smells of cigarette smoke, stale coffee, and nicotine.

It’s certainly not as glamorous as James’s new job at the Planet. He’d gotten hired right after graduation, and Kara, Clark and Lois had helped him move out to Metropolis three months ago.

Kara misses him. She really does, but… almost in a more cerebral than emotional way. She misses being able to talk to him, hold him. She misses the way he builds her up with his easy support that never made her feel like they were competing against each other.

But… seeing him, standing in the middle of his new apartment, with that tranquil look of assurance -- the very same look that he’d had when they first got together, the same one that had drawn her to him last summer -- Kara had felt a shift take place.

She can’t blame it on James. She knows, and so does he, that Metropolis is where he belongs. She doesn’t begrudge him that. That place just settles on him like a well-fitting suit, and James wears it with his same old down-to-earth confidence that makes Kara so proud of him. 

And it’s not as if they don’t talk. He still calls her every day, still wants to hear about her day, and tells her about his in return. His support is unwavering even though she knows how busy he must be, trying to settle in at his new job. He encourages her to stick it out at the Midvale Newspaper, to learn as much as she can, to let it mold her into a better writer and reporter.

Kara loves that about him.

Which is what makes this shift so much harder to understand. With this summer came so many things, so many changes -- Alex graduating and going to med school, Lena spending increasingly more time in Metropolis, senior year looming for Kara. With James moving to the other side of the country and their relationship suffering the inevitable strain of distance, wouldn’t it make sense for her to miss him more, to cling to their relationship tighter to make it work?

James is clearly trying on his end, so why isn’t Kara?

She doesn’t know who to talk to about this. She would talk to Alex, but her sister is already stressed out enough as it is, and Kara doesn’t want to add something as trivial as this to Alex’s worries.

And Lena… well, she doesn’t know how to tell Lena. Which is another thing that doesn’t make sense, because she can tell Lena anything -- _anything_ \-- and Lena wouldn’t judge her, wouldn’t offer any empty sympathy. Kara can tell her anything, and know that it would be safe, that _she_ would be safe, with Lena.

But, for some reason, she just... can’t.

Kara almost does once, over Skype, when Lena smiles at her so affectionately over something silly she said. And the look in Lena’s eyes is so soft and tender, even through grainy pixels and bad audio, that Kara almost lets her heart spill out over video call.

But then a muffled, unseen voice calls out over the phone “Lena, where do you keep your wine?” and Kara’s eyes widen, startled, as Lena looks away. She calls out directions to someone offscreen, and when her eyes flick back to Kara, there is a tinge of hesitation in that clear gaze.

Kara has to fight to keep her voice even as a strange lump forms in her throat. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s just Andrea. She’s an old friend from boarding school.”

And Kara almost believes her. But there’s something about the way she says it, something a tad too casual in her tone. Something about the way she doesn’t quite look Kara in the eye over the camera, the brush of pink on her high cheekbones that wasn’t there before.

Kara remembers the name. Lena mentioned her before, once almost a year ago. And Kara gets the same sense she did a year ago, that there’s something Lena’s not telling about Andrea Rojas.

Kara doesn’t press. She also doesn’t say anything about James.

A week before summer ends, Lena’s internship at Luthor Corp finally wraps up, and Kara finds it’s quite easy to entice Lena to spend the last vestiges of summer in Midvale. 

Lena drives up to her house, sticking out like a sore thumb in her sleek black convertible that practically screams Metropolitan. She then proceeds to stall in Kara’s driveway for a good ten minutes before Kara finally takes pity on her and calls her on the phone.

“Any chance you want to come in before it gets dark?” Kara quips into the phone as she comes out through the side door. “Midvale’s crime rate is pretty low, but sitting out there in a car that costs more than the average annual salary here is probably asking for it.”

“That depends.” Lena’s laugh through the phone is soft and self-deprecating, and Kara can see her slump forward with her head on the steering wheel. “Is it too late to back out and say I forgot I have something to do back in Metropolis?”

“Considering Eliza has already seen you, I’d say yeah,” Kara approaches the car quietly. The top and the windows are rolled up, and she taps gently on the glass. Lena looks up at her and Kara hangs up with a wide grin. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Lena smiles in return, but it’s nervous and tinged with anxiety, her fingers drumming delicately on the steering wheel.

“I told Eliza you like risotto, so she made some for dinner.” Kara leans down, propping her forearms on the door on Lena’s side. She rests her chin on her arm and looks up at Lena with a winning smile. “And she made cookies for dessert. She says I can’t have any until I get you in there. I really want those cookies, Lena.”

Lena gives her an amused look. “You’ve already had some, haven’t you?”

“You don’t understand, Lena. These are Eliza’s _homemade_ dark-chocolate-and-cherry cookies. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Eliza’s homemade dark-chocolate-and-cherry cookies.”

Lena huffs a soft laugh, but her eyes flick away from Kara’s. Her hands are no longer fidgeting on the steering wheel, but she’s gripping it so tightly, her knuckles are white. Kara reaches one hand into the car and places it over Lena’s fingers, gently prying them off to restore Lena’s circulation.

“Hey,” Kara tips her head to meet Lena’s eyes. Lena still doesn’t look at her, but she allows Kara to tangle their fingers together. “Talk to me, Lena. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just being silly.” Lena tries to brush it off, but Kara won’t allow that.

“It’s not silly if it’s got you worked up like this.” Kara reaches over with her free hand and tips Lena’s chin gently toward her. Lena meets her eyes slowly, and Kara can see the trepidation in them. “It’s not silly to me. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Lena hesitates for a moment before she bites her lip and confesses. “I’m afraid she won’t like me.”

“Who? Eliza?” Kara smiles. “I’ve told her so much about you, she loves you already!”

Lena scoffs a little, but her voice gets smaller and she looks away. “I don’t exactly do well with mothers. My track record with my own is not great.”

That makes Kara pause, and in her head, she curses Lillian Luthor to the deepest pits of hell. She’s never met the woman, and honestly they’re probably both better off -- Kara would probably end up yelling in what she assumes is Lillian’s perfectly-made-up face for the way she treats Lena and get arrested for it or something. 

It would be worth it though. Because Lena is possibly the strongest, bravest person Kara knows -- who stands up to authority figures when she knows she’s right and they’re wrong, who could probably rip some obnoxious, misogynistic frat boy’s balls off and feed them to him -- and yet now she is looking at her with a trembling fear in her eyes, and Lillian Luthor put that there.

Kara takes a deep breath and settles for smiling softly at her best friend. “Okay... Do you wanna pretend you have something you forgot to do in Metropolis? Or we could go for a drive and get something to eat at Pip’s Diner? It’s on Main Street, and they’ve got great milkshakes.”

Lena bites her lip and turns back to her. She studies Kara thoughtfully with a look on her face that she can’t read. Her eyes are still fearful, but as she watches Kara, something in them seems to settle. She takes a deep breath and steels her spine. “No, I -- I want to have dinner with you and your mom.”

“Okay.” Kara smiles and leans away from the car door so Lena can exit. Once Lena is out, Kara puts her arms around her shoulders and pulls her into a hug, whispering softly in her ear. “You got this.”

Lena squeezes her just a little bit tighter before pulling away with a small, nervous smile. Kara can feel her marshal her reserves with a deep breath as they walk up the porch steps. She rubs Lena’s arms and slides her hand down to hold Lena’s in support.

Eliza meets them inside with a warm smile and an embrace for Lena, who stiffens and gets a look of pure panic in her eyes for a millisecond before she tentatively returns Eliza’s hug. Kara smiles at her encouragingly over Eliza’s shoulder.

Dinner is a little stilted at first, mostly because Lena sits stiffly in her chair with all the ease of a cornered animal. Her back is ramrod straight, and her smiles are small and infrequent at first, almost like she’s waiting for Eliza to say something critical. Kara feels another flare of anger at Lillian, and she wonders what family dinners must be like in the Luthor household if Lena is like this around family.

But it’s impossible to be stiff and distant with Eliza, and Kara is immensely grateful for her adoptive mother’s easy warmth and openness. Ten minutes in, she has Lena talking about her projects at Luthor Corp, and Lena is smiling shyly at Eliza’s impressed comments and freely-flowing praise. 

And if Eliza spends a few minutes telling Lena about how much Kara gushes about her, much to Kara’s embarrassment, it’s okay, because Lena is laughing now, and she looks at Kara with a soft, bright eyes and a teasing smile.

Under the table, Kara takes Lena’s hand and gives it a squeeze. _You got this._

Lena squeezes back. _Thank you._

....

....

....

....

Since this is Lena’s first summer in Midvale, and she’s been stuck at Luthor Corp like Kara’s been stuck at Midvale News for weeks, Kara makes the executive decision that she’s going to pack as much summer fun as she can into the few days that she and Lena have left here.

She has the full itinerary planned to make sure Lena gets the most out of her stay here -- from a trip to Midvale’s best (only) ice cream shop, all the way to a perfect day at the beach.

Kara’s problems begin from their very first morning.

It starts with the bike ride. Lena looks more than a little alarmed when Kara brings out her and Alex’s old bikes from the shed. “I haven’t ridden a bike since I was twelve, Kara!”

“Don’t worry, it’s just like riding a bike.” Kara laughs while wheeling Alex’s bike to rest beside Lena. “Ha!”

“If I fall flat on my face, I’m suing you, Danvers.” Lena rolls her eyes, but she takes the handlebars with a skeptical look on her face.

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you if you fall.” Kara grins at her as she steadies the bike for Lena to get on. She does so gingerly, wobbling a little bit as she tries to propel the bike forward. Kara reaches out to keep her from falling. But instead of grasping the seat of the bike, her hand lands on the soft, exposed skin of Lena’s hip just above the waistband of her shorts.

She almost snatches her hand away, but she doesn’t want Lena to fall. As soon as Lena is steady, Kara moves her hand away to the safer territory of the bike seat, feeling her face heat up. She avoids Lena’s eyes. “Um, I think maybe you need a few practice laps first.”

Lena takes a few practice turns up and down the driveway, just to get the hang of things. Kara hovers beside her at first, keeping close to make sure she can grab the bike if Lena loses control. She’s careful to keep her hands on the seat and the handlebars.

Lena laughs a little sheepishly at her wobbly steering, but being so close to her, Kara can see that her eyes are bright with a kind of childlike joy, especially when she begins to find her rhythm. Kara smiles at her encouragingly, when Lena turns to her with a proud smile.

Pretty soon, Lena’s weaving smooth, coordinated circles in the driveway and Kara feels safe enough to let go of her. They set off for the beach together, riding side by side. 

Kara finds herself looking over at Lena often. She’s left her hair down and the black strands trail behind her like dark ribbons whenever she picks up speed. She lifts up a little on her bike whenever she wants to pass Kara, legs pumping with effort, and she laughs at her over her shoulder, eyes sparkling glass-green in the sunlight. 

It makes Kara smile softly at how carefree and relaxed Lena looks. She deserves more moments like this.

After a while, Lena slows down.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice is quiet beside her, and Kara slows down her pedaling to match her pace. “Can we not go to the beach yet?”

Kara studies her. Lena’s body language today isn’t quite as anxious as last night, but something about the way she avoids Kara’s eyes still feels off. “Sure. We can do whatever you want, Lena.”

She has a feeling there’s something Lena wants to say, so she waits, letting her bike dawdle a little beside Lena’s. Kara’s patience is rewarded when Lena finally speaks softly. “I never told you how my mother -- my birth mother -- died, did I?”

Kara shakes her head silently, not wanting to interrupt her.

“She drowned.” Lena’s gaze is fixed on the road in front of her, and she seems very focused on pedaling, but a muscle twitches in her jaw. “It wasn’t in the ocean. We were on a lake, on vacation. I was four, and I -- I was too little to help her, I realize that now. But back then… it felt like I just watched her die. I didn’t do anything to help her.”

Kara can see tears clinging to Lena’s eyelashes. The breeze pulls them away and they slip down her cheeks. Lena doesn’t stop pedaling, and Kara follows her lead, but they slow to a near-crawl.

“I used to be terrified of being around water. I used to freeze up whenever we went to our lake house in the summer. It annoyed Lillian so much.” Lena tells her, and immediately Kara feels guilty for inviting her to a place surrounded by open water. Lena seems to sense her feelings immediately and she hastens to add. “It’s not that bad anymore, and it’s not as bad in the ocean. But I… I still get a little nervous.”

Kara puts her foot down, stopping her bike completely. Beside her, Lena does too. Without another word, Kara reaches out and pulls Lena into a hug. They’re both slightly sweaty from exertion, and their arms stick together where their bare skin touches. Kara holds Lena as tight and as long as she can, and Lena clings to her just as tightly.

“We don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to.” Kara murmurs it into Lena’s hair, and she feels Lena’s fingers dig in just a little into her shoulder blades as she nods into Kara’s neck.

When they finally pull apart, Kara gives her a bright smile and tucks a loose strand of dark hair behind Lena’s ear. “They make really good cheeseburgers at Pip’s diner. And it’s across the street from the best ice cream in Midvale.”

Laughter bursts from Lena’s lips and Kara’s smile widens. “We literally just ate before we left the house.”

“I always have room for cheeseburgers, Lena.”

After Kara finishes her cheeseburgers, she takes Lena across the street to get ice cream. It takes her a while to decide, but she finally gets a double scoop of fudge ripple, while Lena gets a chocolate-vanilla swirl on a cone.

They wheel their bikes over to the small park in the middle of the town square, flopping down onto a charming little bench under a tree so they can enjoy their ice cream in peace.

Or that was Kara’s plan anyway.

She’s sitting there, fully enjoying her fudge ripple, when she happens to look over at Lena, and suddenly her ice cream is forgotten.

Kara’s seen Lena eat ice cream plenty of times before, at game nights and study sessions, but watching Lena Luthor eat ice cream from a cone is… a new experience. 

She alternates between taking dainty bites out of her ice cream and licking broad stripes around the swirl, her tongue occasionally swiping slowly over her lower lip to catch stray flecks of vanilla there. The whole time she makes little humming noises in the back of her throat. 

Kara opens her mouth to beg her to please eat her ice cream like a normal person, but no sound comes out.

A stray droplet of chocolate trails down the side of Lena’s cone, making her fingers sticky. Lena slides her forefinger into her mouth to savor the melted chocolate with a pleased hum, and the cone in Kara’s hand crumbles. 

Half-melted double scoop fudge ripple tumbles to the ground with a small _splat_. “Shoot!”

Kara jumps up to clean herself off, tossing the remains of her cone into the trash. Her fingers are sticky, and she wipes them on the napkins they got from the ice cream shop. On the bench, Lena looks up at her with a sympathetic pout.

“Oh no, your ice cream!” Lena holds up the ice cream cone she’d practically been Frenching, and Kara chokes on air. “Want some of mine?” 

It takes Kara a few tries to get words out. She might be having a heat stroke. Finally, she manages to choke out. “Nope! I’m - uh, I’m good.”

She very purposefully busies herself with checking if she’s left any ice cream stains on her clothes so she won’t have to watch Lena finish her cone. When it’s safe enough to look, Kara pulls up her bike and prepares to take Lena on a tour around Midvale.

They never make it to the beach that day, but they ride circles around the town.

Kara points out where she used to go to school, the old playground she and Alex used to play in where Kara once nearly knocked Alex’s teeth out on the seesaw.

She manages to coax Lena onto a swing, and pushes her as high as she can go. Lena laughs the higher she gets, her cheeks pink and her eyes twinkling, and Kara laughs along with her. Lena has such a nice laugh, it bubbles out of her, like something unexpectedly joyous -- Kara loves to hear it.

At some point, Lena gets tired of swinging too hard, and instead swings lazily back and forth, her sneakers making scuff marks on the ground. Kara rocks on one of the spring riders shaped like an alligator and tells Lena about her first days here in Midvale -- how lost she’d been after her parents’ accident, how hard it had been to fit in, how she and Alex had loathed each other at first until some jerk at school tried to bully Kara and Alex had punched his face so hard she fractured two fingers.

“I wish I had known you then.” Lena listens to her with a soft smile on her face. “I probably would have done worse to that jerk.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Kara chuckles. “I’m glad I know you now, though.”

“So am I.”

....

....

....

....

The next morning, Kara finds Lena on the back porch, looking out over the water. There’s a stretch of beach just behind the Danvers property. Kara has always loved being this close to the water, but knowing what Lena’s been through now makes her worried for her friend. 

Right now, Lena’s not displaying signs of anxiety. She’s not completely relaxed -- there’s a certain tension between her shoulders -- but she’s surveying the water in that perceptive way of hers, the scientist in her confronting a problem with analytical thought and pragmatic reasoning.

Kara joins her on the porch, one hand sliding over the spot on Lena’s shoulder blades where her tension is most concentrated, and the other offering her a mug of freshly-brewed coffee. Lena jumps a little, but turns to her with a grateful smile as she accepts the coffee.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Lena nods, bringing the coffee to her lips, humming softly at its warmth. “I was thinking… Maybe we could take a walk on the beach this morning?”

Kara studies her curiously. “Are you sure? We don’t have to go to the beach if you don’t want to, Lena.”

“No, I - I do.” Lena turns to her, and Kara can see her nerves in the way she wraps her hands tightly around the mug, in the set of her lips. “I think I’m ready… You can’t live in fear, right?”

Kara stares at her, a rush of affection and pride brimming in her chest. Of course Lena would never back down from her fears, of course she would tackle them head-on, in spite of nerves or anxiety. That’s the sort of person her friend is, and Kara feels so proud of her.

“Okay, I’ll be there with you all the way.”

Lena smiles. “I know. That’s why I’m ready to do it.”

That simple statement, said in such a calm, serene voice full of trust makes Kara’s heart feel full and light at the same time. Knowing that Lena trusts her enough to be vulnerable like this makes her feel like she can do anything.

“Okay, come on.” Kara reaches out and offers her hand to Lena, who takes it with a deep breath and a smile. The coffee cup is set down, and Kara leads Lena down the path to the beach, feeling her feet sink into the sand. She pauses for a second to take her sneakers off, so she can feel the sand between her toes, something she’s always loved since she was a kid.

Lena follows her lead, but she moves at a much more gingerly pace. Kara squeezes her hand, and gives her an encouraging smile. “You know, when I first came here, I was scared of the ocean too. We didn’t have the ocean where I lived, and I’d only been to the beach a couple of times with my parents. When they were alive, the ocean was a beautiful place. It meant sunshine and fun and making sandcastles with my dad.” 

Lena is silent, her eyes tracking the shoreline, but Kara knows she’s listening. “But when my parents died, the beach became something almost ominous. It seemed so big and loud and strange. Unknown. My dad wasn’t there to make sandcastles with me anymore. My mom wouldn’t be jumping over any more waves with me. The ocean was something to be scared of now. The kind of place you could get lost in and never come back from. Just like my parents never came back after their accident.”

Kara closes her eyes and lets the memories wash over her. The salty breeze lifts her hair and she turns her face toward it, inhaling deeply. When she opens her eyes, she finds Lena staring at her softly, and she smiles.

“Alex was the one who helped me. I told her about all of the things my parents and I used to do at the beach, and she would do them with me. We would make sandcastles together until we had a whole row of them on the shoreline. She used to hold my hand and jump over the waves with me. We’d do them all, bit by bit, until it didn’t hurt anymore.”

They’re quiet for a minute, unmoving as they watch the waves lapping at the shore. Then Lena steps forward, closer to the water until the waves almost touch her feet.

“My mother used to hold me up so I could float in the water.” Lena looks out at the water. As Kara watches, she steps into the surf. Their joined hands stretch between the two of them as Lena moves closer to the waves. “I didn’t know how to swim yet, and she was trying to teach me to float.”

Her movements are a little tight and too controlled at first, and Kara closes the distance between them so that she’s in front of Lena again. She catches her eye and sees the deep breath that Lena has to take to continue. 

Kara can feel Lena trembling ever so slightly the deeper they get into the water, and she stops when both of them are submerged in the water up to their chests. Lena is almost shaking now, and there’s a fear in her eyes that Kara wants nothing more than to calm.

She reaches out with one hand, letting it hover in the water near Lena’s neck, asking for permission. Lena swallows, but she nods, and Kara gently slides her hand up to cup the back of Lena’s neck. Lena stiffens a little bit, likely out of fear, so Kara keeps her voice calm and even.

“I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Lena seems to relax at her words, and her body becomes more pliant under Kara’s hand. As gently as she can, she tips Lena backwards with one hand at her neck and the other under her knees. Lena gasps a little at the position change, her eyes wide, and instinctively Kara tries to soothe her. “Shhh, Lena…. I’ve got you, I won’t let you go.”

Lena exhales shakily, and Kara keeps making little shushing and humming sounds until slowly, Lena’s body unclenches weightlessly in the water. The waves lap gently around them, but Kara doesn’t loosen her hold on Lena, just keeps holding her until she feels safe.

Lena’s eyes close, but Kara keeps watching her, listening to the sound of her breathing even out. There’s something so vulnerable about Lena like this that reaches deep into Kara and pulls out every instinct in her to protect, to care for this one most important person. Her eyes trace over Lena’s tranquil features and she feels the urge to hold her close, closer…

“Girls!”

Eliza’s voice calls out from the shore, breaking the peaceful spell over the two of them. Kara looks up to see her beckoning them back into the house. Lena’s eyes open, and she slowly repositions herself in the water. 

“Kara?” Lena touches her shoulder delicately before she can head back to the beach. The look on her face is soft but bright. “Thank you. For doing this with me.”

“I’m always gonna be here for you, Lena.” Kara smiles at her, warm and genuine. She pushes a wet strand of hair away from Lena’s face. “I promise.”

....

....

....

....

On their last night in Midvale, Kara and Lena go out for one last walk on the beach. It’s dark, but the moon is full and paints the surface of the water silver. 

The two of them are talking and listening to the crash of waves on the beach. Lena’s wearing a long skirt, but she lifts it every now and then so she can dip her foot a little in the water.

It makes Kara so happy seeing Lena so at ease in the water now. It pulls laughter up shallow in her chest, and it bubbles up out of her mouth as Lena kicks up a splash of water at her.

The strains of music and loud laughter catch Kara’s attention. Up ahead, she can see the light of a bonfire and people gathered around it. As they get closer, Kara recognizes a few of them. There’s Imani Williams from Kara’s high school biology class, and Freddy Zika, one of Alex’s old classmates.

Freddy’s the first to see them. He lifts an arm up in greeting and hails them over. “Oh, hey, Little Danvers! Hey, you guys, remember Alex Danvers from the girls' soccer team? This is her little sister! Come on over, Little D!"

Kara blushes a little at the nickname, but she and Lena approach the group. Various people call out greetings, and someone passes Kara a couple of red cups filled with beer. She passes one to Lena, who smiles in amusement when she touches their cups together with a giggly "Clink!"

The music playing on the battered old stereo has a nice beat, and some people are dancing. A couple of guys try their luck at getting Kara and Lena to dance, but both of them refuse, opting instead to sit on the blanket someone's laid down by the fire.

They don't talk much. Around them, everyone is chatting or singing along to the music. But Kara is pretty content just sitting here next to Lena -- watching the fire flicker and dance before them, emitting the occasional pop and hiss and sending a small flare of sparks in the air. The comfortable warmth of the fire feels good on her skin. 

Beside her, Lena shuffles a little closer and Kara lifts her arm just enough for Lena to fit into her side. The air smells like musky smoke and Lena's light perfume. Freddy keeps coming by to offer them more beer or food, and so do a couple of other guys Kara vaguely remembers from the high school football team, but she barely notices them.

When the songs begin to change to something a bit slower, Kara catches Lena softly singing along under her breath. She's a little off-key, which Kara finds endearing. "How do you know this song?"

Lena chuckles. "My father had a Victrola in his office, and I used to play his old records on it whenever he was away on business."

That gives Kara an idea. Gently, so she won't dislodge Lena, she stands up and offers a hand down to Lena. "Dance with me."

Lena scoffs at her. "Kara, I can't dance."

Kara rolls her eyes. "Look around you, Lena, no one here can. C'mon, it'll be fun!"

Lena looks at her a little skeptically, but she takes Kara's proffered hand and lets her tug her to her feet. Once Lena is upright, Kara pulls her close with a pleased grin. Lena gives her a confused little glare that tells Kara how out of depth she is.

Kara takes pity on her and pulls Lena's hands up so that they rest on her shoulders. Then she carefully places her hands on Lena's hips. She's no professional dancer, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. She sways a little to the beat, humming along to it. Lena laughs softly at her, having already figured out that Kara clearly has no idea what she's doing either. 

After a few moments, Kara manages to find her rhythm. It's not really dancing in the most technical sense of the word, they're mostly just swaying in time to the music. 

But it doesn't really matter, because Lena is still smiling in amusement, and her eyes in firelight are a color Kara can't describe. Her hands smooth up Kara's shoulders, her fingers linking behind Kara's neck. Kara's hands slide to the small of her back to pull her just a little bit closer, and she can feel Lena's whole body loosen, languid, against hers. The night is warm, and everything is just a little bit fuzzy, blurred into soft golds and reds around the edges.

At some point during the song, Lena leans into her, her temples brushing Kara's jaw. She can smell the soft scent of Lena's hair, and feel her breath on her ear as she softly sings the lyrics to her. 

She wants to tease her about how tone-deaf she is, but Lena turns slightly, and Kara has to suppress a shiver as Lena brushes accidentally against that one little spot on her ear that always makes her lose her head a bit.

She doesn't want the song to end, but it does, fading slowly to another song. One Lena doesn't know, and Kara can't fake-sway to. She holds on until the final note fades out before she pulls away, her hands sliding away from Lena.

Kara doesn't know why, but she feels an acute sense of loss. Like she just let go of something and it passed right through her fingers. She wants to put it in words, so she can tell Lena, but she can't. It rattles her, but Lena seems unfazed. 

It eludes her for the rest of the night.


	7. SENIOR YEAR - OCTOBER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Marry Me by Train

Lena gets the text from Kara at 7pm on a Tuesday evening, just as she’s heading home from her last class. She’s about to change back into comfortable clothes, but it strikes her that the timing of the text is off. It’s unusual, because Kara and James are usually still talking around this time. Lena knows this because Kara almost never calls her between 6 and 9 PM.

How pathetic is that? Lena would have more disdain for herself, but at this point, she’s resigned herself to the fact that she’s so pathetically in love with her best friend, she can quote James’ schedule based merely on her own call history with Kara.

She checks the message as soon as she gets it, mostly because it’s so incongruous and not at all because she’s never left a message from Kara on Read.

_Can you come over?_

The lack of emojis is disturbing and immediately has Lena worried. Kara never misses an opportunity to string together an amalgamation of every emoji ever invented because she knows Lena can never decode them.

She doesn’t even take the time to change out of the outfit she’d been wearing for her presentation today. Whatever crisis Kara is having trumps being uncomfortable in a pencil skirt and heels. She sends a quick reply to let her know she’s on her way before jumping into her car and nearly speeding through every red light to get to Kara’s place.

It’s weird to think of it as just Kara’s place now. Just like it’s weird not seeing Alex’s stuff cluttering the living room, Lena thinks as she uses her key to get in. The apartment is dark, and the lack of Alex’s presence in the space makes it seem almost empty.

“Kara?” she calls out softly, making her way quietly through the apartment. Her best friend is not parked in her usual spot in front of the TV, or in the kitchen eating dinner.

“I’m in here.”

Kara’s voice issues from her bedroom, uncharacteristically small and soft. Lena’s worry increases, and she gently pushes open the door to Kara’s room.

At first, she doesn’t see Kara. All she sees in the dark of the room is the small mountain of blankets on the bed. Lena’s heart sinks. Not a good sign. Kara only ever wraps herself with blankets like that when she’s sad and wants a hug and there’s no one around to give her one. And it looks like Kara’s currently under every blanket she owns.

Lena makes her way to the bed, toeing off her heels in the process. She crawls over the bed to search for her best friend under the heap of blankets.

“Hi,” comes Kara’s tiny voice when Lena finally finds her, curled up into a small ball, her face illuminated only by the light of her phone. There’s a picture of James on the screen that Kara’s clearly been staring at, and Lena feels that old twinge of jealousy in her gut, but she pushes it away at the sight of tears pooling on Kara’s eyelashes.

“Oh, Kara…” Lena sighs, her chest feeling somehow both full and empty at the sight of Kara looking so sad. 

Lena tries to wriggle into the pile of blankets to get closer to her friend, but pencil skirts are not made to crawl around in. With only a second’s hesitation, she shimmies it off her hips and discards it somewhere in the blanket pile, leaving her only in her silk blouse. 

If it were anyone else, Lena would be uncomfortable, but it’s Kara -- she never makes her feel uncomfortable. And it’s not as if Kara cares that Lena’s half-naked in her bed, not when she’s in the middle of a crisis with her boyfriend.

She manages to burrow her arm under the pile of blankets. Kara immediately turns and somehow manages to pull her into the tangled blanket pile with her. Once Lena’s under the sheets, Kara curls into her with a tiny whimper. Lena pushes a floral quilt away from her face and finds Kara’s teary gaze, silver-blue in the dark, and she smiles sadly.

That’s the thing about Kara. She’s contagious, and Lena has caught her. 

When Kara is happy, it doesn’t matter what she’s happy about, Lena immediately feels happy too. And when she’s sad, Lena’s heart aches in sympathy. 

Her hand finds Kara’s cheek, and it’s as if that action causes the tears in Kara’s eyes to overflow. They moisten her fingers as Kara nuzzles her face into her palm.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Is it James?”

Kara’s eyes are wide and wet as she looks at Lena and shakes her head. “It’s not him. It’s - it’s me… I don’t know - I think maybe something’s wrong with me - it was like this with Adam too - I -”

Lena doesn’t stop the watery stammering, doesn’t attempt to console her by saying nothing’s wrong with her. Instead, she just strokes Kara’s cheek with her thumb and lets Kara sort the tangled mess of words inside her struggling to get out.

“I don’t think I’m happy,” the confession is small and quiet, whispered against the inside of Lena’s wrist. “And I don’t know why.”

Lena can feel her heart twinge again, but she remains silent. Kara keeps nuzzling her hand, seeking physical comfort. Touch always grounds Kara, and Lena is willing to provide it for as long as she needs.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. James is such a great guy, and he always _always_ makes time for me. Even if he’s busy at work, he’ll always call me back as soon as he’s off. And he’s always so encouraging, and he helps me so much,” Kara turns back to Lena, her eyes pleading. “What’s wrong with me, Lena? Why am I not happy?”

“Oh, Kara…” Lena smiles sadly at her. “Life isn’t a book, darling. Believe me, I wish it was. But it’s not something you can write a logical ending for.”

She rubs a hand down Kara’s back in the way she knows she likes, slow and reassuring down her spine. Kara bites her lip, and Lena resists the urge to look down at her mouth. Instead, she tucks a long blond strand of hair behind Kara’s ear. 

“Just because, on paper, things seem perfect doesn’t mean that they are. And just because the paper says you ought to be happy doesn’t mean you have to be.”

She cups Kara’s jaw and smiles at her softly. “Sometimes the things that make us happy aren’t what we expect.”

Kara smiles at her, small and wobbly. “ _You_ make me happy.”

There it goes again, that twinge at Lena’s heart, and she tells that stupid, needy organ to calm down. Kara doesn’t mean it the way it sounds. Lena knows what comes next -- that straight-girl comment of ‘I wish I could just date you instead’, and that is the last thing she wants to hear right now. So she just leans close and presses her lips to Kara’s forehead.

“You make me happy too, Kara.” When Lena pulls back, Kara’s eyes are closed, and it takes another moment for Kara to open them. When she does, her eyes are bright and God, how Lena wishes she could drown in them. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to feel anything you don’t really feel, Kara. You -- what you feel -- that’s enough.”

The blue of Kara’s eyes seems to shift and shimmer, and she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she just leans forward, her head resting on Lena’s chest, right above her heart. 

Lena just holds her, and neither of them talk for the rest of the night.


	8. SENIOR YEAR - DECEMBER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Season of the Witch by Lana del Rey  
> Everybody Here Wants You by Jeff Buckley  
> Le Vent Nous Portera by Sophie Hunger

“Kara _Danvers_.”

That name coming from Andrea’s voice over the phone makes Lena’s skin prickle uncomfortably. She sighs and curses silently to herself. She should have known Andy wouldn’t let it go.

“I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong number.” Lena quips into the phone as casually as she can. “This is Lena Luthor.”

“Since when do you have a sense of humor?” Lena can practically hear the wicked smile in Andrea’s voice. “Come to your door.”

“What??” Lena sets down her mascara brush, and scrambles from her bathroom to the door. When she wrenches it open, she finds Andrea in her hallway, her fingers fluttering in a casual wave, smiling like the cat that got the cream.

“You cannot be serious.” Lena closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. There’s a reason why Lena only ever calls her when she’s in Metropolis. Her two worlds -- the past and the present -- coming together is something that _cannot_ happen.

But it seems it’s too much to ask Andrea to stay on her side of the board. “ _What_ are you doing here?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Andrea sweeps into her apartment like she owns the place, and Lena rubs her temples. “I finally found out who your new girl is. Kara Danvers, senior at NCU. Journalism major. Stellar grades, writes for the NCU Gazette. Has a sister in med school--”

Lena looks up at Andrea with a sharp glare, but Andrea barrels on without skipping a beat, holding up a picture of Kara on her phone. “-- She’s cute. In a blond, golden-retriever kinda way. Funny, I didn’t think that was your type. Although, if the muscles under those cardigans are anything to go by, I think I see why you’re so obsessed.”

“Stop it.” Lena snatches Andrea’s phone from her hand and clicks it so that Kara’s face disappears from her screen. 

“Don’t be such a killjoy, beautiful. I just wanted to meet this _Kara_ I only hear about when we’re having sex.”

Lena can feel her agitation rise, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself. “You shouldn’t be here, Andrea.”

“Why not?” Andrea steps closer to her, her fingers slipping over Lena’s hips. Her immaculately polished nails trail over the smooth fabric of Lena’s short dress. She takes in Lena’s clothes and the eye shadow she’s just applied, and her eyes widen in realization. 

“Oh, I get it… She’s coming over, isn’t she?” Andrea breathes, pulling Lena forward, nosing into her throat, right up to the little hollow behind her ear where her perfume is most concentrated. “That’s why you look like sex right now. For _Kara_. How delicious.”

She draws back, her glittering blue eyes promising trouble, and her smile positively feral. “Maybe I’ll stick around. Say hi.”

Lena snaps, her hand closing around Andrea’s wrist, stopping her from moving further. She meets Andrea’s eyes with a cutting glare, and her voice is ice, crackling and glacial, when she speaks. 

“ _Don’t._ ”

For a moment, Andrea stares at her, blue eyes flicking between her own. She must realize that she’s crossed a line, because she pulls her hand away, all the mischief gone from her face. “Fine.”

She snatches her phone back from Lena’s hands and makes for the door, but before she leaves, Andrea turns back to her and the hurt look in her eyes is enough to make shame fill Lena’s stomach. 

“I’m not your pet that you can just pick up or drop when it’s convenient, _Luthor_.”

The way Andrea sneers her name stays with Lena long after she slams the door.

....

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* * *

One of the guys at the paper asks Kara out for coffee. 

Kara’s a little surprised. William was kind of a jerk at first, and even though he’s mellowed out a bit, and he’s actually pretty nice now, Kara’s pretty sure the entire team knows that she’s dating the former editor-in-chief.

“I’m sorry, I, uh -- I have a boyfriend.” Kara points out as politely as she can. 

“Oh!” William shuffles his feet and chuckles in an embarrassed way. “I’m sorry, I - I thought you had-- Sorry about that.”

“No, no it’s okay,” Kara tries to smile, but she thinks it comes off as an awkward grimace. William rubs the back of his head in embarrassment, and Kara looks down, casting about for a means of escape. “I actually - have to go - I’m meeting up with my best friend later. See you after the break!”

Kara flees the room as casually as she can, leaving William there before he can formulate a polite response. The encounter leaves her nonplussed, and if she’s being honest, a little uncomfortable.

As she walks across campus, she pulls out her phone. James answers on the third ring. Kara greets him in a cheery tone that feels half-forced. “Hi, so guess what just happened?”

“What?”

“One of the guys on the team just asked me out for a coffee.” Kara blows out an awkward laugh, hoping for James to join in.

“What? Who?” James definitely doesn’t sound like he’s laughing. 

“William Dey? The guy who transferred here last year? I said no, of course, but that’s funny, right?”

“Right.” James’ tone makes it clear he doesn’t find it funny, and there’s suddenly a tense stretch of silence that Kara finds herself desperate to fill.

“So… anyway… There’s a party at Imra and Gayle’s place tonight. I’m about to meet up with Lena--”

Kara hears James scoff over the line, and something about it makes her hackles rise. “What?”

“Of course you are.”

Kara frowns. She can feel herself immediately going on defensive, but she can’t help herself. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Look, Kara…” James exhales, but Kara can practically feel the frustration in his tone. “I didn’t wanna say this before, because I didn’t wanna be that jerk, and the last time a guy made you choose between him and Lena, you chose Lena, but -- you spend way too much time with her.”

That takes Kara aback so much, she stops in her tracks. Something inside her simmers, low and dangerous. “What?”

“Oh, come on, Kara. You and Lena are practically joined at the hip. Even when I was still in National City, the two of you were always together. She’s been over to sleep at your place more than I have. And when the two of you are together, it’s like you forget everything and everyone else.”

That _thing_ inside Kara rises, hot and flaring, and she can feel her tone rising to match it. “She’s my _best friend_ , James!”

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” James’ tone takes on a note that’s almost accusatory, and it irritates her. “Listen, I’m not gonna be that guy who asks you to choose between me and your best friend. But you need to make sure that’s what Lena is to you first. Because I’ve seen the way you look at her, Kara.”

Kara bristles. “What does that even mean?”

“You look at her like she’s the one you _want_.” Over the phone, James sighs, and his voice softens and cools. “You’ve never looked at me like that, Kara. Ever. Not even when we first got together.”

There’s something almost resigned in James’ tone, and it makes Kara deflate. She argues weakly, “I don’t know what you mean. Lena’s just my best friend, James.”

“Yeah.” James laughs, but it’s a bitter, humorless sound. “Call me when you figure it out.”

Then he hangs up. Kara stares dumbly at the dark screen of her phone for a long moment, half-angry and half-confused. What the hell just happened?

Part of her wants to call James back and demand an explanation for the things he said. Part of her wants to hold on to the belligerent, confused anger she’s feeling in the pit of her stomach. How can he -- Why would he even --?

James clearly has no idea what he’s talking about. What is with these guys and their inability to accept that Kara’s relationship with Lena is one of the most important relationships in her life?

Lena is her _best friend_. The most important person in Kara’s life, second only to Alex. Of course Kara would want to spend time with her. That’s all it is.

… right?

 _The way you look at her._ That’s what James had said. Kara throws up her hands in frustration. What does that even mean? There’s nothing weird in the way Kara looks at Lena.

_You look at her like she’s the one you want._

A memory rises to the front of Kara’s mind, of Lena chest-deep in the ocean, trembling and beautiful, her eyes locked on Kara’s, the green in them fearful yet unwavering in her faith in Kara as she lays her gently in the water. 

Another memory follows the first, this one of Lena pressed so close, singing off-key in her ear, her hips swaying under Kara’s hands, in a dance that was over way too soon. 

On the heels of that comes another memory, this time of Lena in her emerald silk blouse and little else, her pencil skirt discarded somewhere in a messy pile of blankets, and her bare legs tangled with Kara’s as she murmurs soft words that make Kara feel _seen_.

Somewhere, deep inside of Kara, there’s a little kernel of honesty that admits it knows exactly what James means, and that scares her.

Kara reaches Lena’s apartment, unaware of how she got there. She manages to shake herself out of her stupor long enough to fish her copy of Lena’s keys from her bag. They don’t spend as much time in Lena’s place as they do at her apartment, but she’s been here enough times to be familiar with the place.

“Lena?” she calls out, scanning the empty living room.

“In here,” Lena responds from the bedroom, and Kara gives a light knock before peeking her head in. The pale orange light is on in Lena’s ensuite bathroom. “I’m just finishing up. You can come in.”

Kara finds her in front of the mirror, applying her makeup. Lena’s putting her lipstick on, a rich red color that makes her mouth look like a dark, bruised rose in the paleness of her face. She looks perfect, as always, and Kara feels her stomach squeeze a little. Lena pauses only long enough to smile at her, then returns to her task.

Kara watches her quietly, fiddling with her glasses, unsure of what to say to her best friend in the face of everything James has confronted her with. Lena seems to pick up on her hesitation, and she meets Kara’s eyes in the mirror.

“What’s on your mind?”

Kara’s eyes study Lena’s reflection intently in the mirror. James’ words echo in her ears. _You look at her like she’s the one you want._ “I like your lips.”

Lena freezes and her eyes widen. It’s only when she turns around slowly to face her that Kara realizes what she’s just said. 

Oh God. “I- I mean, I like the color! I like the shade of your, um, lipstick!”

Her words trail off lamely, and she studiously avoids Lena’s eye. Her face feels like it’s on fire, and she wishes she could flee from Lena’s piercing stare. 

“Wanna try it on?” Kara looks up at that, and Lena holds up the little tube of lipstick. “I think it would look good on you.”

Kara’s mouth goes dry, and she struggles to think of what to say but comes up empty. So she just nods and lets Lena pull her to the mirror. The seat is small, but the two of them manage to fit when Lena swings one leg to the other side, straddling it.

It brings the two of them face to face, and Kara can smell the subtle expensive perfume that clings to the air around Lena like a heady cloud. Lena is so close, Kara can see the razor-straight lines of her cat-eye. It looks good on her, really good. Lena’s eyes are already beautiful -- but this look on her, velvet and heavy, makes her seem darker, more mysterious.

Makes her look like something Kara wants badly.

And the thing is, it’s not an unfamiliar feeling. 

It’s the same thing that had eluded her when they’d danced at the bonfire. The same dumb, hazy cloud in her head when she’d first watched Lena eat an ice cream cone. The same speechlessness when she’d first seen Lena in glasses and a lab coat. The same tingling feeling in her skin whenever Lena would burrow into her side in the sleepy hours of an all-nighter.

The only difference is that now she has a name for it. Want.

Kara _wants_ her.

Her heart thuds unevenly in her chest, and her mouth feels drier than ever. Lena must notice, because she licks her own lips and gestures for Kara to copy her. 

Kara does, but not before she tracks the motion of that pink tongue lapping over Velvet Rouge. She echoes the movement slowly over her own lips and watches Lena focus on them as she brings the tube up to her mouth. 

The same tube that had been touching Lena’s lips moments earlier.

Lena brings the same intense focus to this small act that she does to everything else. The first swipe of lipstick over Kara’s mouth feels soft, almost hesitant. But Lena’s eyes flick up at her, almost as if she’s asking for permission. Vivid green locks onto Kara’s mesmerized stare, and the next stroke is more deliberate -- gentle still, but with more intent.

Kara watches her the entire time, feeling a warm sensation at the base of her stomach, like honey oozing down her spine to pool at the very core of her.

As Lena finishes, she brings up her forefinger to delicately trace the curve of Kara’s lower lip, sweeping away any imperfections, and Kara feels the gentle press of her finger like a brand. She finds herself leaning forward, but then Lena’s hand disappears and she gestures for Kara to look at herself in the mirror.

“I was right. It looks good on you.”

Kara looks at their reflections on the mirror, their mouths sharing the same shade. It does look good on her. If she looks hard enough, it looks almost like Lena’s shade has rubbed off on her lips. Her eyes lock onto Lena’s in the mirror, and her voice comes out as a whisper. “Thanks.”

Lena meets her eyes, and for a moment there’s a charged silence between them. Lena is the first to break away. She rises fluidly from the seat and caps the tube of lipstick. “I’m ready to go. Are you?”

Kara nods and fiddles with her glasses, trying to hide her disappointment, before following Lena out of the room.

....

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* * *

In all honesty, Lena doesn’t remember much about the party at Imra and Gayle’s. 

She can’t remember how they got there or who they talked to. She doesn’t remember how she got the beer in her hand or how she and Kara managed to maneuver through the sea of college students looking to party one more time before Christmas break. 

Lena does remember Kara taking her other hand so she won’t lose her in the crowd. She remembers Kara pulling her gently closer, one hand at her back, when one of Mon-El’s idiot friends tries to hit on her in the crush of people. 

Lena remembers Kara turning back to her and leaning close so she can murmur “Let’s go somewhere quiet” in her ear. She remembers nodding, letting Kara pull her along up the stairs to the second floor.

They end up in one of the bedrooms. Lena thinks it might be Imra’s, judging by all the pictures on the shelf, but she finds it a trivial detail as Kara closes the door behind them. 

She puts the beer down and sits cross-legged on the bed, leaning back as if to study the room around her, when really, she’s eyeing Kara across from her.

There’s a moment of silence between them that feels laden with something unspoken, and Lena turns away from it. It’s not the first time that’s happened, but it’s… new, and not at all bad. And that’s the problem. 

It feels heavy and somnolent, unhurried and intoxicated, the kind of silence that makes Lena’s eyes half-lid as she looks up at Kara. It feels like a new kind of good, that makes Lena want to throw caution to the wind and sink neck-deep into the indulgent headiness of it.

And that’s exactly why she shouldn’t.

It’s just in her own head, she’s just reacting to Kara’s presence by projecting her own desires into it. Lena tries to pull herself out of it by mentioning a topic that’s sure to pour ice water on her own out-of-control feelings. “Are you going to visit James for the holidays?”

“I don’t want to talk about James right now.”

Kara’s voice isn’t upset or terse. She says it matter-of-factly, in an almost distracted way. She’s just studying Lena from across the room, her thoughtful gaze making Lena feel almost exposed, like Kara can see right through her act.

Lena slides up the bed to make room for her, a clear invite in the wordless language they speak between them. Kara joins her, wriggling a little bit like she likes to before stretching out beside Lena. It makes Lena smile, and Kara’s lips turn up at the corners into her usual pleased grin.

There she is. There’s her Kara, still present even in the midst of this new _thing_ that Lena is experiencing.

Lying here beside Kara, the noises of the party seem to dull, like they’re underwater -- like Lena’s already slid into the bubble of her and Kara. She feels warm and languid, love-drunk, as she looks into that soft blue gaze.

And Kara is looking at her so tenderly, eyes glassy. Her fingers reach out to brush a strand of Lena’s hair away from her face, and Lena can’t help herself.

Her eyes drop down to Kara’s lips, the exact same shade of her lipstick in the soft bow of them. She wants to know their taste, wants her own lips to be the reason why Kara’s mouth is smudged with her color. Her lower lip gets pulled behind her teeth as she bites herself back from pressing her mouth against Kara’s.

Normally, she wouldn’t let her stare linger so long and blatant on Kara’s mouth. Most of the time, she’ll allow herself a millisecond of indulgence then flick her eyes back to Kara’s before her friend can see. She’d gotten away with it tonight with a ruse.

But now Kara is wearing her color, and Lena wants to see the red of it smudged from the perfect outline of Kara’s lips. The air between them is heavy, nothing exists outside of this room and this bed, and Lena is so tired of pretending she’s not in love with her best friend.

When she manages to pull her eyes away from Kara’s mouth, Lena finds Kara staring at her, recognition and realization sparking to life in the darkened blue of her eyes. 

And shit, Lena knows she screwed up.

_Oh God._

The only way this friendship works is if Kara never finds out about Lena’s feelings. And Lena has gone to extraordinary lengths to conceal them from her. But now, Kara’s looking at her with this… this _knowing_ in her eye. 

Like she knows just how badly Lena wants to kiss her.

It steals Lena’s breath, and she panics.

“I have to go.” Her eyes flick away from Kara’s, and she nearly springs out of Imra’s bed. Kara reaches out for her with a calming hand, but for the first time, Lena shies away from her touch.

She can hear herself muttering an excuse about needing to be up early tomorrow, but she doesn’t really know what she’s saying. All she knows is that she has to get away from here, away from Kara and the terrible knowing in her eyes.

“Lena--”

Kara’s voice is confused behind her, but Lena doesn’t turn around to hear the rest of what she has to say. Doesn’t want to hear Kara’s inevitable rejection of her, the typical straight girl response of ‘I just don’t like you like that.’

Instead, Lena pulls the door open. The sounds of the party immediately invade the room, violating the sanctity of their private little bubble. She all but flees, pushing her way through the crowd.

It feels like diving into an ice-cold lake.

It’s exactly what Lena deserves for ruining the one good thing in her life for one moment of weakness.

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....

....

* * *

Left behind in Imra’s room, Kara watches the door long after Lena has disappeared through it.

She sits up slowly, exhaling. There’s no Lena anymore, and all Kara’s left with is the unshakable knowledge that they had been about to kiss. 

Kara is so certain about it, she almost feels the phantom unknown imprint of Lena’s lips on hers. She moves her hand to her mouth, as if it could be anything but a poor substitute. Her fingers come away stained with the color of Lena’s lipstick.

That moment -- that one long moment when Lena had looked at her mouth with naked hunger -- is enough to tell her that this is _real_. That what she feels is not one-sided… that maybe Lena wants her too. 

Kara feels almost like she’s in a trance. She can barely recall weaving through the crowd outside the bedroom, or even ordering an Uber on her phone. She drops her head on the back seat, trying to find her breath as if it had been stolen from her like that unfulfilled kiss was.

All she knows is that she needs to make a phone call.

It doesn’t occur to her that it’s past midnight in Metropolis, and that James might be asleep. The moment his voice croaks a groggy hello over the phone line, the confession -- the decision -- rushes from of her chest and slips past her unkissed mouth.

“You were right.”


	9. SENIOR YEAR - DECEMBER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: There's some smut in this. It's marked ***
> 
> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Just for the first part, Paradise Circus by Massive Attack (the Zeds Dead remix was the one I was listening to for THAT scene)  
> Sign of the Times by Harry Styles

There's something to be said about being a Luthor, Lena thinks.

A Luthor always knows how to toe the line just enough, straddle a knife's edge without losing balance, because straying a hairsbreadth away from the edge would mean unacceptable consequences. 

It's a game Lena learned to play early in childhood. A Luthor plays only with the highest stakes where one misstep would mean catastrophe, or not at all. 

And Lena has strayed from the fine edge she was balanced on. Years balanced on the edge of her feelings for her best friend, and one mistake last night -- one indulgence, a moment lingered too long -- and now Kara knows.

Kara knows, and Lena's phone has been filled with notifications from her since this morning.

Lena may be a Luthor, but she doesn't think she's strong enough to go through those. There are many things she's capable of enduring, but hearing Kara say that she never wants to see her again isn't one of them.

She doesn’t open anything. She thinks she catches James’ name in one of the texts, and she vehemently swipes it away. She scrolls past everything with Kara's name on it, and instead goes straight for her contacts to find Andrea's name. She doesn't answer immediately, and Lena seethes in impatience, because she knows Andrea is drawing this out on purpose.

When she finally picks up, Lena doesn't bother with a greeting. "Are you still in National City?"

"Fuck you, Luthor."

Andrea only ever calls her Luthor when she's pissed at her. Right now, it couldn't be more apt. She smiles bitterly. "That's the idea."

****

As soon as Andrea arrives, Lena doesn't waste any time. The other woman is pinned against the door, with Lena's mouth instantly on her, hot and demanding. 

Andrea doesn't respond at first, the taste of anger bitter like iron in her mouth, but Lena knows her too well by now. She knows how to make her soften and how to make her just as desperate as Lena is. 

She strips her urgency of its fire, and presses soft and sweet against her. She slants their lips together, cajoling, until Andrea lets her in, her hot mouth weak and mewling and pliant.

It's easy like this. A game Lena knows by heart. They've been playing it since they were sixteen. There are no hearts to break here, because they were already broken in the first place. What's another scratch on an already destroyed machine?

There's a comfort to be had in a game she knows she can win, Lena thinks as she strips off Andrea's blouse without breaking the kiss. It keeps her from thinking about how she's just lost the one thing that's mattered to her in a long time.

She nips severely at a full lip with her teeth, soothing it almost immediately with her tongue. Andrea pulls away with a small growl and licks her way down Lena's throat to mark the smooth skin there in retaliation. The sensation is sharp and stinging, and Lena gasps in relief when the pain of it nearly fills the emptiness in her chest.

She pulls away, nearly dragging Andrea to her couch. How many nights have she and Kara spent here, wrapped in Kara's blankets, Lena fitting exquisitely perfect into Kara's side?

Lena pushes Andrea down until she's sitting right in the spot where Kara used to sit. If she's already ruined the one good thing in her life, she's going to do it so thoroughly she won't have to remember things the way they were. 

After all, a Luthor never does anything in half-measures.

It takes her no time at all to strip her clothes off and divest Andrea of hers, with the other girl's frantic hands more of a hindrance than a help. Once they're both naked, Lena straddles Andrea's hips, pressing back into her mouth in a kiss that's deep and filthy, with just enough of a sweetness to mollify the other woman. And Andrea gives in, like she always does.

There's barely any need for foreplay. Andrea's hand reaches between Lena's legs to find her wet and desperate. She thrusts two fingers inside easily, and Lena whimpers, the bittersweet relief at the sensation of being filled almost enough to get her to come.

Almost.

It's not enough to satisfy the emptiness in the center of Lena, the jagged hunger at the base of her stomach, the yearning for someone else's skin against hers.

"Harder." Lena trails her fingers over Andrea's jaw, tightening at her chin. She rolls her hips, fucking herself on the other woman's fingers. " _Harder._ "

Andrea complies, a flash of defiance in the wrong blue of her eyes. She fucks Lena as if she wants to break her completely, and Lena throws her head back, moaning with pleasure at the possibility of it. Andrea surges up, changing the angle of her fingers and adding another, making Lena gasp in delight. 

Andrea doesn't let up her pace, fucking in and out of her as she laves hot, wet circles at Lena's breasts before taking her a nipple between her teeth. Lena whines at the sensation, plunging her hand into Andrea's hair, fingers wrapping around honey-colored strands.

Lena’s so focused on the sensations -- on somehow feeding the gaping maw where her heart used to live -- that she doesn't hear the door open. She doesn't even have the mental faculties at the moment to remember that she had given another person keys to her apartment.

It's only when she hears the shocked gasp at the door that she remembers.

Lena looks up to see her best friend standing at her doorway, staring at her with wide eyes the perfect shade of blue she'd wanted to see. All her breath leaves her in a rush. 

"Kara..."

Two things happen at once. Andrea’s fingers still inside Lena, and she follows Lena’s gaze to the door. 

And Kara gets a strange look in her eye that Lena's never seen before. Her jaw tightens, and before Lena can say anything else, she turns on her heel, pulling the door closed behind her.

The door slams shut, cutting off her view of Kara, and Lena feels panic bubbling in her chest. She almost falls in her haste to get off of Andrea’s lap and searches wildly around for her robe. On the couch, Andrea just leans back, watching her frantic movements. A muscle in her jaw twitches.

“So that’s the infamous Kara... Does she know that when you come, you scream her name so loud, you lose your breath?”

Lena cuts a sharp glare at her, pulling on her robe. “Stop it.”

Andrea holds her gaze defiantly for a moment, her jaw working tightly. Finally, she looks away with a scoff. “God, you’re hopeless.”

Lena doesn’t even dignify that with a response. She just leaves her there on the couch and hurries out into the hallway, not even bothering to put on her shoes. Kara’s not in the elevator, but she can’t have gone far yet.

Lena catches her in front of the building, staring at her phone in agitation. Kara keeps pacing back and forth for a few steps before freezing and clenching her hands into fists, a sure sign of her distress. 

Lena approaches her tentatively, drawing her robe a little tighter around her body. “Kara?”

Kara whips around at the sound of her voice, but when she sees Lena standing there in her robe with her feet bare, she turns away again. She doesn’t meet Lena’s eye and her voice is weirdly high. “Hey! I’m just waiting for my Uber.”

“I can take you home, we can take my car--”

“ _No!_ ” Kara surprises her with the vehemence of her refusal, and Lena instinctively withdraws. “I mean -- no, thank you. I’ve got an Uber coming and all.”

Kara’s still agitated, Lena can tell, and she keeps clenching and unclenching her hands. She slants a look at Lena, but still seems unable to look Lena in the eye. She feels something cold begin to wrap around her chest when Kara speaks again. “I’m sorry about, you know…”

Kara gestures vaguely at her state of undress with a small grimace, and Lena draws the robe together around herself. “I didn’t mean to -- I should have knocked first -- I didn’t think you --”

Kara snaps her mouth shut so hard, Lena would swear she can hear her teeth clack together. “I’m just… sorry.”

Headlights illuminate the street, throwing shafts of light across Kara’s face. Her ride is here, and Kara seems to sigh with relief. Lena feels a kind of desperation rising in her chest, threatening to spill out of her mouth. “Listen, about that… It’s not what you think. Andrea and I-- we have -- had -- a history, but we’re not… _together_ anymore. It’s just…”

She wants to say that it’s just sex, but she sees the look on Kara’s face. Kara looks closed off, shut away from Lena in a way she’s never been before. The cold grip on her chest squeezes tight like a vice, and Lena instinctively wraps her arms around herself.

“What you do with her really isn’t any of my business.”

Lena recoils, feeling as if she’s just been slapped. It would have hurt less, she thinks as she watches Kara get into the car without looking at her. The door slams closed, and the Uber drives away.

And Lena is left standing there, in nothing but a robe, her feet bare and her heart a million pieces on the ground.

She doesn’t know how long she stands there, staring out at the street long after the car’s tail lights have disappeared. But it’s long enough that her arms and legs are trembling from the chilly night air, and her hands and feet feel frozen.

Lena manages to pull herself together enough to remember that she still has a naked girl in her apartment that she should probably deal with. She rides up the elevator in a kind of daze, but it quickly shatters when the doors open to reveal Andrea, fully-clothed, with a look of cold rage on her face.

She tries to sweep past Lena into the elevator, but Lena takes her wrist. “We need to talk.”

Andrea doesn’t even look at her. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“Andrea…” Lena sighs her name, feeling her stupid heart’s exhaustion bleed through every syllable of her name. “ _Please_.”

The tension in Andrea’s body lasts for a moment, tight and simmering, ready to boil over, but at Lena’s soft plea, she softens infinitesimally. Lena walks over to her apartment door and opens it for her. “Please?”

Andrea exhales, but with a shake of her head, she walks back into Lena’s apartment. She stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed, spine rigid and jaw tilted haughtily. Lena drops down to sit on the arm of the couch, her head falling forward with a sigh. 

“Well?” Andrea’s voice is somehow both heated and cold, a hurricane in one breath, very much like her own nature. “If you’re not even gonna say anything--”

“I’m sorry.”

Lena looks up at her, feeling the poison of emotional exhaustion and bad decisions seep all the way down to her bones. She didn’t know it was possible for a heart to still bleed and hurt for one woman when it’s already been broken by another, but here she is.

“Is that all you can say?! You’ve said another woman’s name twice now during sex, _and_ you left me here, naked, to run after your little crush--”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, Andy.” Lena sighs, shaking her head. “I… I’m sorry for everything. For dragging you into this in the first place. For - for using you.”

Lena somehow finds the strength to meet Andrea’s eyes, hoping she can see what she really means. She needs Andrea to know this. At least this, _this_ , Lena can fix because this is something she broke on purpose.

She knows each fracture line because she caused them all, every time she kissed Andrea and thought of Kara, every time she looked into Andrea’s eyes and wished it was Kara looking at Lena like she wanted her.

“I’m sorry I hurt you like this, Andy. You don’t deserve this.”

Andrea’s jaw works, her ire clear in every line of her face. For a moment, she looks rigid and unyielding. But as she stares at Lena a moment longer, all the fight seems to leave her, and all her breath leaves her in a rush. 

She retains a little bit of heat in her voice when she speaks. “I suppose I should be grateful that this little scene with you and your Kara woke me up. Nothing like a splash of cold, hard truth in your face to teach you how to break a bad habit.”

Knowing Andrea, she risks a small smile. “Does that mean you’re gonna stop smoking?”

“Don’t push it, Luthor.” Lena receives a glare for that, but Andrea huffs in that petulant way of hers that’s always somehow endearing. “I really wanna slap you right now, but I don’t wanna be that stereotype. Besides, that face is too pretty to ruin.”

Andrea sighs and crosses the room to drop down on the couch beside Lena. A long moment of silence stretches between them, beaten and bedraggled. They used to be best friends, close in every sense of the word. And now here they are, the hollow space between them ragged with the tatters they created from lashing out at each other.

Lena should have learned her lesson years ago. Falling in love with one’s best friend never ends well. 

First Andrea, now Kara. And the common thread hanging frayed between them -- Lena and her foolish heart.

“Do you think,” Andrea starts, her voice breaking a little. “Do you think things could have been different if I hadn't gone after Russell all those years ago?”

Lena sighs. “Does it matter now?”

“It matters to me.” Andrea insists. “I'd like to think there was a possibility you would have stayed in love with me.”

Lena doesn’t say that there's still a part of her that will always love Andrea. She's not that cruel. 

It’s a nice thought. That maybe she and Andrea could have stayed together, could have been enough for each other. But a part of her, the little fragments of her heart lying at Kara’s feet, can’t comprehend not being in love with Kara anymore. Not when she’s woven herself so completely into Lena’s life, into the fibers of Lena’s heart.

Andrea must see something in her expression, because she looks away and sighs, sad and resigned. “I know how much I hurt you, all those years ago. And I knew, I _knew_ , this would hurt me. That first time you kissed me, and it didn’t even feel like you were kissing _me_ . Not the way you used to. Because it wasn’t _me_ you wanted to kiss... I knew it would hurt, but I think I felt I deserved it, after what I did to you.”

Lena’s eyes soften, and she shakes her head. “I think we need to stop thinking like that, Andy. Look at us… You hurt me, and I hurt you. And yet, neither of us are happy. We’re both just broken. It's just more hurt that's spread around.”

There’s a fine sheen of tears in Andrea’s eyes when they meet Lena’s again. She gives Lena a tremulous attempt at a smile. “I think you should tell her. Kara. You deserve a chance to not be broken, Lena.”

Lena returns her smile with a weak one of her own. She doesn’t tell Andrea the truth -- that it’s too late for that now.

She already is broken.


	10. SENIOR YEAR - AFTERMATH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My playlist for this chapter:  
> Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy  
> Happier by Ed Sheeran  
> Heartache by A Girl Called Eddy

The Gazette office is mostly empty today, with only a few students milling about the room to finish up on last-minute duties before Christmas break. As Kara enters the office, she feels her phone vibrating in her pocket. She knows who it is without even looking at the screen. 

She’s had eleven missed calls from Lena since this morning. She’d been tempted to leave her phone at home, because seeing Lena’s name on her screen made her heart scream inside her chest.

Kara ignores the call, feeling every cell in her body protest at the action. Instead, she makes her way to the desk in the corner. William is sitting there, typing away on his computer.

“Hey.” Kara approaches him with the widest grin she can muster. William looks up at her in surprise, but he returns her smile with a weak one of his own. She’s guessing he still hasn’t forgotten her recent rejection.

Which just makes this even more awkward, but Kara forges on. “So… you’re still here the day before break, huh? I think you might be even more of a workaholic than me.”

“Well, your work speaks for itself. And I have to keep up with you somehow.” William gives her a lopsided smile which Kara thinks is pretty cute and charming. He really is a very attractive guy.

And if his smile doesn’t make her heart race, and his mere presence alone doesn’t make her whole day -- only Kara needs to know that. It’s better than the yawning, jagged fissure that’s been growing steadily in her chest since she’d walked out of Lena’s apartment last night.

Last night, what she’d seen… It feels like a betrayal. 

It’s stupid, Kara knows it is. She’d only just put a name to her feelings last night. She and Lena aren’t together, they’ve never been more than best friends. And just because Kara was too late in realizing that she’s always wanted more than that--

Lena doesn’t owe her anything. One moment in the middle of a party and a kiss lingering in the air, haunting Kara in its almost-certainty, doesn't mean Lena wants her back.

“Um, I was wondering…” Kara fiddles with her glasses, trying to think of what to say to William. “Is your offer to go out for coffee still on the table?”

William blinks up at her, awkward confusion evident in his eyes. "I thought you had a boyfriend?"

Kara looks away, fiddling with the strap of her bag. "I... We actually broke up last night. It's a long story, but.... well, I could use a friend."

William looks taken aback, and it takes him a long and tense moment to reply, during which Kara wants nothing more than to slink away. "You know what, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed--"

"Coffee sounds good." William seems to recover, cutting across her rambling. The smile on his face is genial and kind of sweet. Kara sighs in relief. " Noonan's?"

Kara's stomach drops. A memory floats unbidden to the front of her mind -- of Lena trying every dessert in the menu at Noonan’s while she talks about her childhood, her eyes finally lighting up in delight as she tries coffee liqueur cake.

She can't go to Noonan's. "Actually, there's a place that serves pretty good coffee that's much closer."

"Oh, it's no problem. I could get us to Noonan's in five minutes--"

"I don't like Noonan's." Kara interrupts, her voice firm. When she sees the surprised expression on William's face, she softens her tone apologetically. "I don't really like their sticky buns."

It feels almost like sacrilege to say it, but at least it gets William off her back. As they head to William's car, Kara feels a strange sense of petty satisfaction.

_ So there, Lena _ , she thinks.

It doesn't even make sense, Kara knows it. Lena is a grown woman, and even if Kara is her best friend, she’s never seemed to care about Kara having boyfriends before. Why should Kara care that she’s dating another woman?

Except Kara knows, deep down, she's not judging Lena for being with a woman. That's not the reason for her petty anger. That's not the reason her heart feels like a howling creature living inside the fissure of her chest -- messy, angry and mean, lashing out at Lena for making her hurt like this.

The real reason is that Kara wants it to be her. 

She wants to be the one who holds Lena in her arms, who sees her fall apart, raw and trembling and alive, and builds her back up again. She wants to be the one who finally gets to claim the kiss she never got.

It makes Kara angry -- so angry, she wants to take the coffee William offers her and throw it at the walls of the subpar café. She wants to yell and scream because her heart is hurting, and she doesn't know what to do about it.

She doesn't. Instead, Kara smiles, accepts the coffee from William and takes a sip. It's nowhere near as good as Noonan's, but it's acceptable.

She thinks she might come to like it, given time.  
  


....

....

....

....

**JANUARY**

Kara forces herself to put her phone down to keep from checking the screen. 

Lena has stopped texting her. 

She can’t blame her. Lena has tried to contact her so many times since they got back from the break, has tried to bridge the gap that Kara has created between them. Each time, Kara pulls away even more.

She’s missed calls. Cancelled lunches with Lena at Noonan’s in favor of lackluster coffee dates with William. He does bring her baked goods, which Kara appreciates. 

And now, after three missed lunches in a row, Lena has stopped trying. Good.

Kara picks up her phone again, and is met with nothing but an empty screen.

....  
  


....

....

....

**FEBRUARY**

They don’t have game nights anymore.

They were already down two members, with Alex and James having graduated. And now, without Lena…..

The only other remaining members are her, Mon-El and Nia, and Kara doesn’t really wanna hang out with Mon-El outside of the bar, so she just invites Nia for sleepovers.  Nia is sweet, and Kara adores her. 

But Nia’s lactose intolerant. 

She can’t have chocolate milk, and drinking the chocolate milk in her fridge by herself just feels wrong to Kara now. She can’t even look at the Irish brand, so she’s stowed it away to the very back of her fridge. She’d throw it away, but just the thought of that makes her want to burst into tears.

She doesn’t really want to snuggle up next to Nia and share her blanket pile with her either.

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” Nia points out during one such sleepover. “Don’t you have a boyfriend you have plans with?”

Kara just shrugs.

....  
  


....

....

....

**MARCH**

Kara looks up Andrea Rojas on her phone.

She doesn’t really mean to, but the impulse hits her in the middle of the night when she’s staring up at her ceiling. The urge to find out more about her is so strong, Kara nearly falls off the bed scrambling for her phone.

Andrea Rojas. Daughter of former senator and founder of Obsidian North, Bernardo Rojas. She’s got a little under 2 million followers on Instagram, and she’s done advertisements for her father’s company.

The more Kara sees of Andrea Rojas, the less she likes her. She’s too confident, too pretty, too smart, too  _ everything _ .

No wonder Lena chose her over Kara.

She knows that’s unfair. She never even  _ asked  _ Lena out, never told her how she feels, never gave her the chance to accept or reject her. 

But whenever she thinks of asking Lena now, she can't get the image of Lena’s body arching and trembling against Andrea out of her head. It incites an irrational anger in her, and her heart, the broken calcifying thing in her chest pipes up  _ Why couldn't it have been me? _ like a petulant child.

And now Kara has to live with remembering the shock of hearing her own name gasped by Lena’s breathless voice, even if it was for the wrong reason. She can't even think of Lena now without thinking of the pretty blush on her bare skin, the way she throws her head back when she comes. She knows all these things without ever having had the privilege of eliciting them, and it's unfair. 

It's unfair to Lena that she's acting like this. It’s unfair that she threw away their whole relationship because of this.

Kara tosses her phone across the bed so she won’t have to look at Andrea Rojas’ pretty smiling face anymore. Then she rolls over, pulling the blankets over her shoulders and pretends it’s Lena holding her instead.

....

....

....

....

**APRIL**

Kara tries to delete Lena’s pictures on her phone, but she finds she can’t.

She barely manages to scroll a couple of times down the album dedicated to Lena’s photos before her tears fill her vision. The image of Lena’s bright eyes and enigmatic smile blurs in front of her eyes, and she can’t help the little sob that bursts out of her mouth.

This is how Alex finds her. 

First day back home from med school to visit her sister, and Kara can’t even find it in her to greet her properly. She swipes some tears from her eyes, and tries to give Alex a watery smile. 

Instead of going in for a hug, Alex rubs her temples at the sight of Kara crying on the couch. “Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Kara frowns at her. “What?”

“Nia told me it was bad, but I didn’t know it was  _ this _ bad.” Alex gives her a glare and snatches her phone away from her. “Are you kidding me? Kara, I love you, but you’re being incredibly stupid right now.”

“What?”

Alex sighs and drops down on the couch next to her. It feels a little like old times. Except Alex is lecturing her. Okay yeah, maybe exactly like old times. 

“Why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, staring at photos of Lena, when you could go to her and tell her that you’re in love with her?”

Kara looks away, unwilling to meet Alex’s eye. Alex leans forward and touches her shoulder. “Kara…”

The fissure in her chest cracks open to reveal the pitiful mess that is Kara’s heart. A fresh wave of tears rolls down Kara’s cheek, and the truth finally bursts out of her.  _ “Because she doesn’t love me back, Alex!”  _

Alex looks taken aback by her outburst, but it’s too late for Kara to hold back now. The great rending in her chest leaves her gasping through sobs. Alex takes pity on her and puts her arms around her. Kara sobs into her sister’s shoulder, releasing every ugly, angry, guilty thing she’s felt for the past four months in a torrential flood of hot tears on Alex’s sweater. 

“I love her so much, Alex. I want her so much, but she doesn’t love me back. And maybe someday, I can fix things. I can be the better person, and I can be there for her even if she doesn’t feel the same. Maybe someday, I can smile and be happy for her when I know she loves someone else. But right now, it just -- it hurts too much.”

Alex frowns. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘someone else’?”

“I… I saw her with someone else…”

“Did she say they were dating?”

“She didn’t have to. They were having sex in her apartment, Alex!”

“Wow, okay.” Alex’s eyebrows rise to her hairline. “Go Luthor.”

Kara gives her an indignant glare and Alex rolls her eyes. “Okay, sorry. But... did you even give her a chance to explain?”

That makes Kara pause. She chews on her lower lip thoughtfully. “Well… she said it’s not what it looks like, but I…. I was… No, not really.”

Alex sighs, rubbing her temples. “... Kara, listen to me. I’ve lived with you, and yes, Lena too, for years, and believe me when I tell you that I have never seen two people more in love with each other than you are.”

Kara opens her mouth to argue, but Alex silences her with a look. “I can tell you, without a doubt in my mind, that Lena Luthor is in love with you. She may be mad as hell at you, and I wouldn’t blame her, with the way you’ve been acting. But I’ve known that that girl is crazy about you since she came to game night with a thousand-dollar bottle of scotch to win me over.” 

Alex brushes away at the tears now drying on Kara’s cheeks. Then she places both her hands on Kara’s shoulders and gives her a little shake just like she used to when they were kids. “Now get up, dust yourself off, and go get your girl.”

Alex gives her an encouraging grin, and Kara wants to believe her. She wants to believe her sister’s words so badly, that Lena may possibly feel the same way, but there’s still a kernel of doubt that lives in her chest.

She’s about to tell Alex this when a knock on the door interrupts them. Kara cringes when she realizes who it could be. “That’s William. He said he was bringing over donuts.”

“Okay… so, maybe deal with that first  _ before _ you go get your girl. I’m gonna go get a drink. You and Lena are making me go through way too much with not enough alcohol.”

Kara opens the door to a smiling William. He holds up a box of donuts from the place she’s been pretending she likes. “I got your favorites with the strawberry sprinkles on them. And I also brought this!”

He holds up a jigsaw puzzle box, shaking it enticingly. Kara smiles at him weakly. William looks past her into the kitchen where Alex is pouring herself some of Kara’s wine. “That’s my sister, Alex.”

Alex gives him an offhand, distracted wave. She gives Kara a pointed look over her wine glass, and Kara turns to William. Instead of letting him into the apartment, she steps outside the doorway, closing the door gently behind her. 

“We need to talk.”

William looks at her in confusion at first as he backs away from her apartment door into the hallway. But when Kara looks up at him, something in her expression must betray her feelings, because he gets a look of realization on his face. The box of donuts and jigsaw puzzle drop down to his sides in an almost resigned way.

“I think I know what you’re going to say.”

Well, that makes one of them. Kara has no idea how to tell him that she wants to break up with him because she’s in love with her best friend, and as nice of a guy he is, he cannot compare.

“I’m not going to pretend I didn’t see this coming. It’s been… It’s been lovely spending all this time with you, Kara, but... even I can tell that your heart’s not in it.”

Kara feels guilty for the way she’s been treating him. And she feels even worse when he leans down to kiss her cheek and whispers “He’s a lucky guy.” Because even William knows he’s a rebound, but he doesn’t know the full truth -- that he was a substitute for her best friend, not her ex-boyfriend.

She doesn’t correct him. Instead, Kara watches him leave, shoulders slumped and head down, the gifts he’d brought her hanging dejectedly at his sides. She knows how he feels, has been feeling it for the past four months.

At least Kara can still do something about it. 

She feels like she’s standing on a precipice. There’s every possibility that she’ll meet with the biggest rejection of her life -- one she may never recover from. But there’s also the possibility -- a minuscule kernel of hope -- that she may get everything she’s wanted.

She gets her phone out of her pocket, debating whether she should call Lena. This isn’t an over-the-phone conversation. Plus she’s not sure if she still has the right to just call or text Lena after how she’s behaved these past few months. 

No, if Kara’s doing this, if she’s risking everything like this, she might as well go all in. 

She takes an Uber to Lena’s apartment, her mind racing the entire time. In her head, she tries to come up with words to tell Lena how she feels, how sorry she is, but everything she thinks of seems inadequate. By the time she’s at Lena’s door, Kara has nothing.

She rings the doorbell anyway.

Kara’s heart feels like it’s leapt to her throat, trying to claw its way out of her mouth. It’s the most alive she’s felt in months, and it’s terrifying. 

She can hear Lena’s voice through the door, and Kara can honestly say that it’s the sweetest sound she’s heard in months. It sounds like she’s talking to someone. Her phone is still on her ear when she opens the door, and Kara catches the last fragments of her conversation.

“She’s obviously not interested. Just leave her alone--” Lena’s voice stops abruptly as she sees Kara standing in her hallway. 

The moment Kara sees her face again, even with the shock apparent in her expression, it feels almost like a gasp of relief. Like she’s been holding her breath for months, and this is the first time she can breathe freely again. 

“I have to go.” Lena speaks distractedly into the phone, her eyes trained on Kara. “Get a life, Mon-El.”

When she hangs up, Kara feels the full force of Lena’s attention on her again after months without it. The vivid green gaze she’s missed so much roves heavy and tense over her, and Kara feels the full extent of the vulnerability she’s subjecting herself to. She feels like she’s about to expose her very heart -- messy and ugly and broken as it is -- to Lena’s scrutiny.

And if you had asked her before, Kara would have said that she feels her heart would be safe in Lena’s hands. But now, both she and Lena have seen the ugliness that lives inside Kara, her capacity to inflict pain. 

Kara hates herself for it. How can Lena want it? How can Lena want  _ her _ ?

Lena just stares at her for a long moment, her jaw tight, her whole body tense. Every wall Lena has that Kara has worn down over the years is up and braced by Luthor steel, and for an agonizing moment Kara thinks she has lost all hope of even getting past the door.

Then Lena opens the door and moves aside to let her in.

It’s not much, and the steel in Lena’s eyes doesn’t yield, but Kara takes the gesture for what it is. A chance. A small one, but a chance nonetheless.

“What are you doing here, Kara?” Her voice is positively glacial, and this is the Lena she has witnessed eviscerate misogynistic professors and entitled man-children. But this cold disdain has never been directed at Kara herself. “I suppose I’m suddenly worthy of your attention again? What changed?”

Kara feels the sting of her words, and she flinches. “I suppose you could say it was Alex. She came over to tell me how stupid I was being--”

“Remind me to thank her.” Lena drawls, but Kara forges ahead.

“-- But honestly, I don’t think I could bear to stay away from you for much longer.”

“So it was all about you then.”

Kara feels panic and desperation begin to claw at her throat. Tears sting her eyes as she desperate scrambles for words to convey to Lena what she feels. “No, Lena, I -- Let me explain--”

“Four months.” Lena cuts her off sharply. “Four months, Kara. Not a single word. Do you know what that was like? After you promised me you would always be there for me, you ignored me for four months. How could you... abandon me like that?”

Kara hears the soft, heartbroken chord in Lena’s venomous voice, and it wraps around her chest and squeezes like a vice. It acts like a trigger, and the tears begin rolling down her cheeks. “I know! I messed up. I’m sorry, Lena. I’m so sorry.”

Lena exhales, long and slow and defeated, and to Kara it almost sounds like she’s bleeding out her hurt through her lips. Kara’s tears fall faster. 

“ _ Why _ , Kara? That’s what I don’t understand. What did I do wrong? Was it because I was sleeping with a woman--”

“No!” Kara shakes her head vehemently. “That’s not it at all!”

"Then what was it?” There’s a note of heartbreak and desperation in Lena’s voice that echoes the same one that’s clawing at Kara’s throat. And suddenly, she can’t bear it any longer. “What's your big excuse for avoiding me all this time--"

Lena's rising voice is silenced when Kara surges forward and kisses her.

It’s a desperate act, like a sinner’s last bid for absolution before receiving punishment. Kara’s hands cup Lena’s jaw with a kind of frantic tenderness that she didn’t know she was capable of, and she presses her lips against Lena's with all the fervency of everything she has been feeling for the past four months.

There is no finesse in the kiss, beggars can’t afford the luxury of subtlety when they’re starving. And Kara has been starving for Lena for a long time.

Lena doesn’t respond at first, and Kara almost pulls away, afraid she’s overstepped her boundaries. But the moment her grip on Lena loosens, it’s as if a chain reaction occurs in Lena. 

Lena's hands fist in the collar of Kara’s shirt and tug, unyielding. She pushes back against Kara, and the only softness in her that echoes the Lena she knows is in the pliant give of her lips when Kara’s tongue seeks entrance.

From there, it’s nothing but heat and wet and the taste of hunger in Lena’s mouth. Everything is forgotten, the anger and ugliness and the rest of the world, all gone. And it’s so familiar, because this has always been Lena’s effect on Kara. She blocks out the world, until she’s all Kara can see and hear and feel and taste.

It’s the kiss Kara was denied that fateful night, and she pours everything she can into it -- apology, confession, love. An  _ I’m sorry _ and  _ I love you _ that she can say better with her lips slanting over Lena’s than any speech she can give.

In the end, it’s Lena who pulls away first. 

And Kara feels her heart break as Lena turns away from her, breath heavy, and puts some distance between them. She should've known. She’s too late, done too much damage, and did too little to repair it. 

She should have known Lena wouldn't want her. Not like this.

Kara begins to pull away, but before she can flee, Lena grabs her wrist. "Kara, this isn't... I'm not saying 'no'. I'm just saying 'not yet'.... I - Nia told me you’re dating a guy from the paper.”

“I’m not!” Kara protests, a little desperately. “I’m not. I broke up with him today.”

“Kara…. Don’t you see?” Lena lets go of her wrist and sighs, meeting her eyes with a searching look. “Since I’ve known you, you’ve been in one relationship after another. First, it was Adam. Then it was James…”

Kara grasps her hands. “I ended things with him because I realized I’m in love with you!”

Lena’s eyes widen when Kara finally puts the truth to words. She seems to freeze, her eyes searching Kara’s, and that little moment of hesitation almost ends Kara. 

But then Lena reaches out to cup her cheek in a familiar gesture and Kara nuzzles into her palm like a hurt creature. Lena tugs her closer and presses their foreheads together. 

“I’m in love with you too, Kara.”  Something releases in the fissure of her chest, and Kara exhales. Lena’s words wrap around her like a blanket, the warmth of them sinking into her skin. She didn’t think it could be true, that Lena could feel the same way -- but here they are, a gift from Lena’s mouth herself. A sound that’s half-laugh, half-sob bursts from her lips.

Her hands come up to cup Lena’s face, but Lena pulls away a little.

“Kara, I…” she seems to flounder a little, searching for words. “I meant what I said. I love you, and I do want us to be together. But... you just broke up with someone today. I just... I think these guys have been lining up for you one after the other for years… You deserve some time just to be by yourself for a little while."

Kara opens her mouth to speak, but Lena cuts her off with a finger to her mouth. Anything Kara was about to say dies a quick death. "And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt by what you did... You hurt me, Kara. You avoided me for months, and you made me feel like I did something wrong. Do you know how much that hurt?"

Kara feels her eyes fill with tears again, and she grasps Lena's hands desperately. "I know! I’m sorry. I'm so sorry, Lena. I just… I saw you with Andrea, and I  _ hated  _ that it wasn’t me when I wanted you more than anything. I was an idiot and a jerk. If you'll let me, I will make it up to you. And if it's any consolation, I was hurting too. I was miserable without you, and it was so painful thinking that you didn't want me the way I wanted you..."

"Oh, Kara..." Lena cups Kara's cheek and wipes away the tears that have started to spill down Kara’s face again. "This is not a punishment. I’m not trying to hurt you. I don't want either of us to hurt more than we already have… But I think you need time to figure things out for yourself first.”

Lena leans forward the smallest bit, and her lips slot perfectly against Kara’s in a small, but fervent kiss. Kara feels herself sink into the softness of her.

“... And when you've taken all the time you need, I'll be right here, Kara. I've wanted you so much, and I've waited for you for so long. I can wait a little longer."

....

....

....

....

  
  


Kara gets the call from Alex fifteen minutes later, when she and Lena are sitting at Lena’s kitchen counter (not the couch, Kara doesn’t think she can do the couch quite yet after what she witnessed on it). Their hands are tangled together, and Kara’s missed this so much, she’s almost loath to disentangle her fingers from Lena’s just to answer the call.

“Did you get the girl?” is Alex’s greeting.

“Sort of.” Kara turns to Lena, meeting her clear, green gaze. She smiles, giving Lena’s fingers a squeeze. “But yes.”

“You guys are so weird.” She can almost hear Alex rolling her eyes. “I have no idea what that means, but I do know that it means Nia owes me a beer and a dare. I told her if you ever manage to tell Lena you’re in love with her, she has to get the number of that nerd guy she has a crush on. Y’know, the one who sometimes hangs out with Mon-El. Barney -- Benny ---”

“Brainy.”

“Yeah, him. She’s been chickening out for weeks, and tonight’s the night.” Alex’s exasperation is clear over the phone. “Honestly, I have to do everything around here. How have you guys survived without me?”

“With great difficulty.” Lena leans forward, her head close to Kara’s so that Alex can hear her. Over the phone, Lena holds Kara’s gaze, and she smiles softly. “... Thanks, Alex.”

“Don’t mention it, Luthor.” There’s a fond smile somewhere in Alex’s voice. “You can thank me by not distracting my sister and getting your butts over to Al’s.”

She hangs up, and Kara turns to Lena. She doesn’t really want to go to a noisy, crowded bar tonight. She just wants to stay with Lena. But Alex so rarely gets to come home, and as much as she wants Lena to herself, she also wants their little family back together.

Lena seems to understand, and her thumb strokes softly over Kara’s knuckles. “It’s okay, Kara. We have time… and I have to admit, I’ve missed your sister.”

As they get up to gather their things, Lena looks at her over her shoulder. “Fair warning, Mon-El is probably gonna try to hit on you tonight. He said something weird about your ‘window’ being open?”

“What does that mean?”

“Knowing Mon-El, probably something weird or creepy or both. He thinks I’m bringing you over to keep you from meeting any other guys so he can get to you before anyone else.”

Kara laughs. “Joke’s on him. Somebody already got me.”

Lena tucks her hair behind her ear with a soft, shy smile, and Kara finds it so endearing. There’s that twinkle in Lena’s eye again, one she hasn’t seen in such a long time that it feels like she’s rediscovering it again. 

They get to the bar before Alex and Nia do, and it’s as crowded as it usually is. Kara manages to grab a booth near the back that gives them just enough privacy so that they don’t have to shout to hear each other.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kara can see Mon-El trying to hail Lena over, but Lena doesn’t pay attention to him. Instead, she just slides into the booth deliberately where he won’t see her. 

Kara slides into the seat next to her. There’s plenty of space, but she sits close to Lena. She remembers the first time she saw her here -- a goddess dropped into a dive bar, she’d thought, and she chuckles a little to herself, because she still thinks it’s true.

Lena tips her head curiously. “What are you thinking about?”   


“I was thinking -- I know I’m supposed to be single… but I really wanna kiss you right now.” 

Lena’s half-lidded gaze drifts down to Kara’s lips, lingering for a moment before flicking up to her eyes. Her lower lip gets pulled behind her teeth, giving it a cherry red tint that Kara finds irresistible. She leans closer. “May I?”

Lena nods silently.

Kara knows that if she kisses her now, Lena would reciprocate, she would kiss her back. But somehow, it still surprises her, filling her with a bright, burning gratitude when she feels Lena's lips slide against hers, parting under her own mouth.

Kara kisses her like they’re not in the middle of a crowded bar, like there’s no one in the world except for the two of them. Everything is Lena, and Lena is everything. The way she licks into Kara’s mouth, slow and intent. The way she moans just a little bit in the back of her throat when Kara presses her back into the leather of the booth.

And Lena, she kisses Kara back like she’s forgotten what words are, like her mouth wasn’t made for speaking, but for kissing, and she kisses Kara like she wants her to forget too. 

When Kara pulls away at the sound of a throat clearing somewhere behind her, Lena chases her lips so sweetly that she’s almost tempted to sink into the kiss again. Except the throat clearing turns into an indignant “Oh my God, I’m happy for you guys, but seriously, get a room!”.

And Kara has to all but tear herself away from Lena then just so she can glare at Nia.

They don’t kiss again for the rest of the night, but Kara’s okay with that. She can wait, and she knows Lena will too.

She’s not scared anymore, she doesn’t feel the frantic sense of fear that had made her heart howl in her chest. The fissure inside her is still there, still wide and cracked, and Kara knows that there are things in there -- in her -- that may be hard for her to face, that may be darker than she knows herself.

But Lena’s hand stays tangled in hers for the rest of the night, and just like when Lena first went into the water in Midvale, Kara thinks she’s ready to look in there because Lena’s with her. 

They have time.

....

_ “This girl you’re talking about, is she a blonde with glasses?” Brainy asks. “And does her friend have dark hair and a pale complexion?” _

_ Mon-El sets the bottle down on the bar top and squints at Brainy. “Yeah. Why?” _

_ “I believe I saw them in the west corner booth. Kissing.” _

_ “What???” Mon-El almost nudges the bottle off the bar top, but fortunately, Brainy’s quick reflexes manage to save it before it spills or crashes on the floor. Mon-El is frantically pulling the towel off his shoulder and craning his neck to look for the two women. _

_ Brainy takes a serene sip from his beer. “I believe your window just closed… Dude.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> And there will be an epilogue. I just have to write it lol.


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